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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Partner doesn't lock door...

14 replies

yellowraincoat · 20/06/2011 16:16

this seems like a bit of a minor issue, but my partner just will not remember to lock the door after him. We were broken into a couple of weeks ago; the burglar managed to open the yale with a stick through the letter box. Since then, i've dead locked the door even when i'm in and we've both agreed this is sensble. The burglar came into my room, i saw him and was terrified. Luckily when he saw me he ran off.

So why do i come home and 9 times out of 10 the yale is on but not the deadlock? i have asked him 100 times to remember and he doesn't. Every time i open the door, i worry someone will be there staring back at me.

Any ideas on how i can get him to remember?

OP posts:
JsOtherHalf · 20/06/2011 16:20

Get a new lock, which does it automatically?

oldwomaninashoe · 20/06/2011 16:24

Agree with above. As you have been broken into a new lock would seem a good idea anyway

JsOtherHalf · 20/06/2011 16:26

Something like an auto deadlocking night latch?
www.locksonline.co.uk/acatalog/Auto_Deadlocking_Cylinder_Night_Latches_.html

I've no experience of them, but they do seem to meet your needs.

TechLovingDad · 20/06/2011 16:27

Tell him if he doesn't lock the door you will change the lock and he won't get a key.

yellowraincoat · 20/06/2011 16:48

Hrm, problem with getting a new lock is that we rent, so can't change them.

Just need hom to see it's important. He apologises every time ye still does it.

OP posts:
TechLovingDad · 20/06/2011 16:51

You can change them. When I rented, someone tried to kick my door in, so I changed my locks and told my landlord why I'd done it. I then gave him a copy of the key.

yellowraincoat · 20/06/2011 17:09

Well i might ask if its ok but not sure what landlady will say.

Thanks for the replies.

OP posts:
TechLovingDad · 20/06/2011 17:11

Surely she wont want her property being broken into? She might expect you to pay for it.

Hate to say this but you saying "you might ask but not sure what she'll say" added to your DH not taking you seriously might be part of your problem. You don't sound forceful enough. Not that DH should need you to be.

wrongdecade · 20/06/2011 17:14

that must have been terrifying OP

sugartongue · 20/06/2011 17:15

You absolutely can change the locks and you don't have to give her a key (while you're living there) because she's got no right to come in anyway unless by prearranged appointment with minimum 24 hrs notice. So my advice would be 1. ask if you can change the lock (chances are if you explain why she'll say yes); failing that, 2. change them anyway. If you do change them without permission make sure you don't damage the door and that you keep the old lock to return to her or reinstall when you leave (otherwise technically theft of the lock...)

buzzsore · 20/06/2011 17:17

Talk to your landlord. I'm sure they'd be amenable to either you changing the lock (or possibly having it done for you).

strawberryjelly · 20/06/2011 17:19

can you do something simple like put a ticky note/ sellotaped note on the door to remind him?
remind him too that many insurers won't reimburse you for stolen goods if the doors has not got proper locks which are used. ie deadlocked.

yellowraincoat · 22/06/2011 20:04

Techdad - like you say, why should i be forceful? No im not a forceful person, but he shouldn't really need to be told, he's not a child.

To be honest, i'm not sure why eveyone thinks i should change the lock...that's not really the issue, we have two locks, one is obv easy enough to open but the deadlock is fine. It just needs to be used.

Have reminded him and thought about a note, but reckon it'll just get ignored as he has done in the past. It has been locked the past couple of days so maybe he's fnally got the message.

OP posts:
TechLovingDad · 22/06/2011 20:06

Ask him, say "oh have you finally remembered to help stop us get burgled?"

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