How should I tackle different parenting styles?

[ScarletOHaHa]

I have very different approach to parenting than my two friends and it is causing tension. In addition both their partners are more traditional than mine and they tend to do the lions share of raising the children. I obviously think my way is better but I don't think that as a person I am better just different.
There are things I just need to ignore such as fussy eating, odd occasions of naughtiness that all kids are prone to. Others are more difficult:
. Screeching tantrums
. Older child being expected to look after slightly younger one (taking to toilet, playing totally unsupervised)

I am much more strict and things tend to get difficult if we visit each other. I don't want to limit visits to playdates outside of the house. Any coping strategies?

One of my friends just rang to chat and in the background one of her DC was screeching so load that we couldn't talk, basically cos her mum was on the phone. Neither friend will socialise without their kids. I love them all but the parents are driving me mad. We will never agree on our differences; does thsi mean we cannot be friends?