is this what you would expect from someone who loves you?

[vannah]

Several years ago my husband was friends/working partner with a wealthy but arrogant artist, much older than him. For some reason this man took a disliking to me (he is gay and as far as I know my DH isnt bi) and did everything he could to stop DH marrying me. He landed my husband in a huge financial mess right before our wedding and I was furious.
I told DH that I didnt want this awful man in our lives. It turned out that most of DH's friends strongly disliked this man. He wrote DH an emotional letter saying that 'it seems that unless a certain somebody dies, we shall no longer be in contact'. Ive interpreted that weird comment to mean that he wished me dead. DH defends his friend and says that it just means he could not be in contact with this man whilst Im alive.

Now, 7 years later, this man has contacted my husband again and they had the longest, most warmest conversation on the phone today. My husband was clearly arranging things and kicking off the friendship again. He said that there is no point in harbouring negative feelings. With someone who wished your wife dead?

Am I over-reacting to think that he should be loyal to me and tell this man politely to bugger off? Is this what you can expect from someone who apparently loves you?
any thoughts appreciated thankyou

thankyou all so much again. Funny you should say that- I showed him this thread last night up until 9 replies, I also handed him a letter about his lack of love for me and disloyalty in general. He ignored both (i mean read the letter for 1 minute, glanced at the computer) and carried on watching some action movie with a scowl on his face.

I think Im realising that this is just one of many issues and he doesnt think well of me or love me.

Back to counselling!

If you remove the gender of the weird person, I would say your husband was in love, and so is the weird person.

Put the gender back in, and it still seems to fit.

Sorry.

i think its more likely to be what shouty said, my husband IS : "so easily impressed by people who appear grandiose, glamorous, exciting"

You couldnt have summed him up better.

hes capable of intellectual conversation yet is childish and drama queen enough to say he couldnt be friends with your dh while you are living?

Van-TWAT! pmsl

Leonardo di Mincey?

< rolling >

Botti-smelli?

[puerile]

high-brow intellectual man-love

how fucking bourgeois !

So, what does this person think you are now, then, if he is back in touch with your dh?

Do you have other issues in your marriage?

Do you reckon your dh could possibly be gay? It is weird to be so "smitten" by another person, unless there is a crush involved.

Maybe you dont need councelling. Maybe you need a new husband. Or, lack of so.

HAHA this is excellent.

'Count Dramatico Von Deathwish' - 'Ay can be your mentor no longer...while she valks de earth, you are doomed to a life of mediocrity, of IKEA and Chennel Foive! She must be eliminated... then you and Ay may ascend to a higher plane vhere ve can talk about ze Turner Proize, and Ay von't try and bum you, oooh no not a bit of it'

PMSL shouty, I really needed that right now! cheers matey!

I think i know this man. Does his first name begin with 'A' ?

you say your husband isn't gay, but from your description of the OM and what happened, he does sound awfully like an ex-lover to me.