The dynamics of small groups?

[BadgerBadger]

Several times I've been part of small groups either in a voluntary capacity, work or friends and the dynamics always astound me.

It seems that as the group develops it turns in on itself, in a negative sense. In my experience, as time goes along there always seem to be a member or two, vying for the role of top dog and going to manipulative lengths to attain that role; which in turn causes disquiet amongst the group, unrest and ultimately leads to the breakdown of morale.

Has anyone else experienced or witnessed similar? Or have any views on small group dynamics? Or am I imagining things?

Maybe it's just a reflection of society, a condensed form of the larger picture!

i work with community groups - indeed i have been part of some. and i agree theres always some wanker takes it as a power trip. in fact its the main thing i stress when dealing with wannabe groups. that there is no power associated with chair person. your the most powerless person as you havent got a vote. so yes i agfee

Yep- agree groups can be nightmares indeed. The main problem I have found, in short, is that some people never talk and others never shut up. When you get a total bananahead taking the latter position things become hellish very fast, ime.

Urgh! It strikes me as so unnecessary. Though I'm relieved to see I'm not imagining it.

Are there effective ways of dealing with it? Strategies? I wonder if the answer lies in boundaries but shouldn't they be each individuals responsibility to create?
Much easier said than done, I know.

TBH I'm entirely sick of being part of worthwhile and essentially 'good' groups only to later watch them at best fall apart at the seams. At worst, torn asunder from within.

erm- leave when you've had enough? Don't join? Swap roles a lot? I don't know really!

As I am lucky enough not to have to be involved...I just left. PTA. Small minded power struggles. Not for me. Though I do feel guilty at not being involved - because my reasons for being on the PTA were genuine (a real desire to be involved at school, and help out). But I just couldn't bear the petty politicking, bitchiness, and power tripping of it (it's a PTA fgs, not the European Parliament )

You have a sparkly pink wig, moo? How fab. Sounds like an asset to any group really.

I'm just dressed up for Children in Need, should take it off really (it was mostly to annoy Cod )

There are a couple of local small groups I'm involved in (NCT, and a childcare co-op), and although they sometimes suffer from the problem ScummyMummy describes (bananaheads who won't shut up), I can really only think of one example of that in our two groups, and he doesn't mean badly.

But we've never had power struggles, in either group. I guess maybe because the chair doesn't really make decisions on their own, both are really quite consensus-oriented. And there tend not to be strong arguments anyway, people are respectful of each others' wishes ...

Sobernow, that's where I'm coming from. I'm frustrated that groups develop to this point but unfortunately at times people feel they have to leave. There must be other ways to work these issues out.

I'm interested in what you said about 'comfort zones'. That's something I'll look into more.

NQC, exactly! Respect needs to exist within the group. I do think boundaries are necessary (maybe this is how people can assure themselves a comfort zone?) but if those boundaries are disrespected, where to go from there?

Marthamoo, that wig is beauuuutiful!

sobernow, the thing is...you're right. So no need at all to apologise. It is something that I feel bad about because I know I should rise above. But my experience of the PTA is exactly as you describe - me, on the door of the planned disco, trying to ensure that everyone has a child to pick up at the end of the night - while the movers and the shakers of the PTA use it as an excuse to expand their social life. My way of thinking is that if I get home at the end of it and reach for a stiff vodka - it's not worth the aggravation.

And, fwiw, I am on ds2's pre-school committee - and I volunteer for all sorts (story sacks...help!)

But really no need to apologise - you're better than me because you persevered and changed things from the inside out. I gave up.

And I must take this wig off...

I think lots of parents appreciate the efforts of pta and nct committees, although may not always say so - it might sound a bit creepy.

Anyone with an imagination can recognise the work that goes into organising events and fund-raisers so I am sure most group members are well appreciated.

I was on our local nct comittee for a year and there were one or two annoying people but most (say 8?) were nice and calm and there to help. Mind you it was the loud ones who got talked about...!