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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

His Mental breakdown - what else should I do?

52 replies

Orchidlady · 14/06/2011 13:47

Dear all, I have been posting here for the past couple of weeks about the state of my dp mental health. He is seeking help for depression and Bi Polar has been mentioned but things are moving very slowly. The trouble is his business is failing/has failed, owes huge amount to tax man and owes clients huge amount of money to clients due to a burglary and insurance not paying out. He works 6 days a week and pays very little into the household, thank god I am the bread winner. I don't know enough about Bi Polar to know if this an underlying problem but sure as shit that he is heading for a car crash. Just need some outside perspectives AGAIN ( sorry), this just can't go on. His panic attacks are getting worse, he just can't see that he is unable to meet his commitments. Have do get him to face reality. But how? This is really bringing me down, beginning to feel a bit panicky myself.

OP posts:

Original poster

Orchidlady · 16/06/2011 11:56

Thanks for your support, I have just told my mum everything and have offered to come over, GP has arranged for Mental health to see him this pm, but she is calling him to try and arrange this directly as asked my permission to tell him I have called her. Just waiting to see what happens next. Luckly mum is a nurse and looked after people with mental problems so can offer advise

OP posts:

CinnabarRed · 16/06/2011 12:03

((((Orchidlady))))

You are being incredibly brave.

I don't have any experience or advice to offer, just my profound sympathy and relief that matters are coming to a head.

Original poster

Orchidlady · 16/06/2011 12:07

Thanks Cinnabar, don't feel very brave wish the GP would call me for an update. Just sitting here on my own, mind racing

OP posts:

CinnabarRed · 16/06/2011 12:21

Want to chat online while you wait? What do you plan to do with your DC this weekend.

Original poster

Orchidlady · 16/06/2011 12:27

Thanks Cinnabar, don't know what I am going to do yet, kind of depends on what happens today, god I wish GP would call. I am trying to work but not making a very good job of it.

OP posts:

cestlavielife · 16/06/2011 12:28

where is your P right now?
where are the guns?

think about planning somehting nice eg park outing with your DS or to visit friends

Original poster

Orchidlady · 16/06/2011 12:34

Guns are locked away in a gun cabinet, not sure where he is, GP has asked me not to call him yet. He left @ 7.00 this morning, prob only a couple of hours sleep, I assume he is at work ( works on his own) so no way of checking.

OP posts:

CinnabarRed · 16/06/2011 12:37

Why has GP asked you not to call him? Because he'll call you back when he has news to impart (and so him not calling you means he doesn't have anything to say yet)?

Original poster

Orchidlady · 16/06/2011 12:40

Sorry Cinnarbar, not sure what you are asking?

OP posts:

CinnabarRed · 16/06/2011 12:42

The park sounds good. What about soft play if the weather's bad? (Not sure how old your DCs are.)

CinnabarRed · 16/06/2011 12:43

I'm trying to work out whether it would be productive for you to chase your GP, or if it would just tie up his time when he could be talking to your local Mental Health team!

Original poster

Orchidlady · 16/06/2011 12:44

My youngest is 11, oldest is all grown up ( well thinks hs is) Don't worry will do a good job keeping things together. Really resisting the urge to call GP.

OP posts:

Ormirian · 16/06/2011 12:47

Good luck orchid.

I feel for you. I also feel for your DH as it is terrifying to be there. I am coming off my ADs atm and going a teeny bit crazy but at least I know it, know why, and am keeping a lid on it - to be feeling these things X 1000 and not to know why or be frightened to acknowledge them is a nightmare.

Stay strong. Will be thinking of you all x

CinnabarRed · 16/06/2011 12:52

I guess that while you've no new inforamtion to add, and aren't in immediate danger, there's no point in calling your GP.

But so hard for you!

Is there anything worth watching on TV? A DVD you've been saving up for the right occasion?

Original poster

Orchidlady · 16/06/2011 12:58

I am trying to work LOL

OP posts:

CinnabarRed · 16/06/2011 13:03

What type of work environment? I'm guessing office as you've clearly got good internet connections.

Have you seen the Damn You Autocorrect! website? That's good for a distraction.
damnyouautocorrect.com/

Original poster

Orchidlady · 16/06/2011 13:10

I am self employed and work from home. so pretty isolated.

OP posts:

CinnabarRed · 16/06/2011 13:11

Then ditch work and break open the DVDs! Surely this counts as an emergency? If you had the flu you'd go to bed, so think of this as equivalent feel-good medicine.

ducati · 16/06/2011 15:58

Has GP called yet?? If not call call call. In similar circs I had to call GP 3 times even tho I had left messages saying it was an emergency. Do you know where he (dp) is at moment??

I so feel for you. Last night sounds so like when my dh's crisis came to a head. After similar night he went to work next day and stood outside the office unable to go through the door and then came home again. He lay on sofa and watch some old BBC series to calm himself down. It is so stressful for you. He should be on medication and in hospital, really. Please let me know if there is anything i can do

cestlavielife · 16/06/2011 16:15

i agree - call GP.

you surely need to know where P is and what is going on .

if he comes home again or whatever - dont forget 999 is still an option - can you have your mother or other friend/relative round this evening?

i would suggest that sleepign with him in house tonight is not an option

CinnabarRed · 16/06/2011 19:05

I hope the lack of update is because the GP called back and wheels are in motion to get the P whatever help he needs.

((((Orchidlady))))

cestlavielife · 17/06/2011 09:37

hope you ok orchid

Original poster

Orchidlady · 17/06/2011 10:05

Morning, yesterday was pretty major, dp would initially not speak with GP, so I drove to his workshop, brought him home and after a couple of hours persuaded to speak with GP and eventually between us got him to agree to see emergency health team. He has also given permission to allow the GP to talk freely with me. I sat with him whilst talking to them and made sure he did not gloss over things, as he can be a very good @ putting on a brave face. Up shot I am waiting for them to call to arrange a time today to see a Consultant, of course I will be going. (It was a bit shocking some of things he was saying to them, I think he is even worse than I thought). Last night he was strangely calm, managed to get him to eat and then fell asleep about 8.00 and is still in bed now. The police have been an collected his guns for the time being, I thought he would go beserk when he found but he just said yes I think that is a very sensible idea. I think I might have a bit of a job on my hands getting him to see the consultant but I reckon I can do it ( I hope)

OP posts:

cestlavielife · 17/06/2011 10:11

things are moving forward then.

good luck

Ormirian · 17/06/2011 10:11

orchid - well done. You are amazing. best of luck

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