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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Just came out of Emotionally Abusive Relationship

4 replies

Misspixietrix · 14/06/2011 10:56

ok I was with my Ex for 7years, perfect at first, aren't they all? then the small things started and I put them to one side, then once the children came along, it got worse. Yes it was sometimes physical, we was both as bad as each other at times if I'm honest, but I finally snapped last week and decided enough was enough, I gathered the children, packed a suitcase and rang women's aid whilst he was out, they were really nice to me and had a place in a refuge for me but was having difficulty getting there. I finally rang my parents and told them what had been going on and they drove straight down from work to pick me up, yes my Ex could be a fab husband at times, but 'at times' isn't enough, I know there was infedelity in our marriage but I was too scared to challenge him in case it started yet another argument which my children would have been witness to. There was name calling on both sides, constant suspicions and accusations, not helping with the children (he actually waited until I had got back from the shops one day for me to change the baby!) and like I say physical abuse too. I've been away for a week now and he's constantly ringing and texting, telling me he is sorry and that I need to get the children back home where they belong, yes I know I need too but he's refusing to leave the marital home and as I couldn't put my children through that anymore I chose to remove myself and the children from that situation, he even came to my daughter's school yesterday and tried to take her out of class!

OP posts:
GeekCool · 14/06/2011 11:00

Congratulations! Well done on getting out of a toxic situation. My advice would be to not respond to abusive/begging text messages, only to anything concerning the children.
This is a long road but it's a good one. Be kind to yourself and you will have a few wobbles. You might want to look into a solicitor or CAB about access and rights regarding your children, if you believe he will use them to get at you.

You should be reall proud of yourself Grin

Misspixietrix · 14/06/2011 11:14

thankyou for your reply GeekCool, I really didn't want to go down the whole limited access route to the children as I've always said I would never stop him from seeing the children; but I'm currently trying to sort a solicitor's out after yesterday's stunt because as he still has parental responsibiity they can't physically stop him from taking her. I will keep you informed. thankyou again for your kind words.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 14/06/2011 11:19

Congratulations on getting away from him

Please do everything your power, with help from the professionals, to keep away from him

Get formal, official access to dc (on your terms) sorted, and if he pisses about you suspend it

if he continues to harass you, keep all evidence, keep a log and report him if necessary. you can get an order to stop him doing that

speak to school, tell them the situation, and that under no circumstances should they hand dc over to him

all the very best to you x

btw, there is an "emotional abuse" specialist thread with wonderful ladies who are at all stages of dealing with this, I am sure you would find it tremendously helpful

let me know if you need a link to it...it is in the "Relationships" section

ItsMeAndMyPuppyNow · 14/06/2011 12:57

Thread is here, OP.

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