Is it ever okay?

[Rosmarin]

Is it ever okay to make some wait for you to decide whether or not to end the relationship with them? And make the person aware that you're thinking about it?

I've found myself in this situation, 'waiting', basically without warning. And it's completely a-typical behaviour of him, and it really, really hurts. It has completely shaken my trust in my boyfriend, our relationship, and in myself (as a person to be in a relationship with).

I'm in a bit of a mess really about it all.

Once yes, more than once absolutely not. Walk away, run for the hills he will do this time and time again.

And my OP morphed from the simple seeking-reassurance-question into divulging the whole issue, when really I guess I just want to not be in this situation at all. Argh. It's just so disappointing to be let down like this when I really never thought he'd be capable of messing me around.

Then make the decision for him and walk away.

(sorry, sounds harsh...am very for you as this sounds like a completely shit situation)

I guess posting here will get me one type of advice, it's hard to give advice when you don't know the person. It seems very black and white, I suppose.
On the other hand he's been an excellent boyfriend and it's been plain-sailing since we got together 18 months ago. He's going through a period of extreme stress right now and I guess this has skewed the threads somewhat.

But it's very upsetting because it's damaged my trust and I wonder if it can be the same ever. Perhaps not.

I agree, you have to seize control of this situation and walk away with your dignity. If he decides he does want you, you'll be in a strong position to decide what you want, rather then rendered impotent by his indecision.