After years of being ignored by DH I had an affair. I know it was wrong and I didn't plan it but I was certainly vulnerable (DH and I now divorced which was the right thing to do). I fell madly in love and knew the relationship wouldn't end in marriage or anything but I loved our time together. We still see each other sometimes (3 years later) and I still get excited to see him and sex is amazing for both of us. He loves hanging out with me, but is much more relaxed about the whole thing (read: he's just not that into me!)
However, I really would like to have a real relationship but the problem is that nobody makes me feel like he does. I've been out with other men, gorgeous, clever, interesting guys but there is never even a tiny spark. OM has been described as "no oil painting" and he's also a player, but he is interesting and funny and of course the chemistry helps. We understand each other and he's quite a softie sometimes. My question is: do you think I fell head over heels because I hadn't experienced any love or affection for such a long time or is this a simple matter of being in love?
I am really struggling with this question because I am worrying that I will never find such a strong connection with anyone ever again and spend me life hankering after someone I can't have. We've been very low key for over a year now, but I still think about him every day even though I try not to by keeping busy and telling myself it would only end in tears anyway. Help!