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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Two incidents in the past week are making me wonder if something more sinister is up

10 replies

SnotFace80 · 13/06/2011 07:12

  1. We're in bed, I pop downstairs to toilet and then come straight back up. I feel the cold very easy and DP is always boiling so when I get back into bed I go to cuddle up to him to warm back up. I always do this and he always does it to me too - well this time he snapped "for fucks sake" and shuffled further away from me. I said "I'm only trying to get warm" and put my arm around him and he snapped "get your fucking hands OFF me" and very aggresively THREW my hands off him, it actually hurt. I called him an arsehole and turned over and we didn't touch all night. Thinking about it though, we're cuddling less and less on a night time.
  1. We're sat in the car and DP has music playing through his phone which is connected to the car speakers. He has to pop into a building to hand in some papers whilst I wait in the car. He starts to grab his phone so I said "can you leave that here for the music?" and he snaps "err no!" Hmm I said "why??" (I often leave my phone in the car if the music is playing through it) so he said "because I won't!". I said "how selfish are you lately" so he said "I'm expecting a phonecall (bullshit, nobody ever calls him) so suspicion got the better of me and I said "It's ok, I don't want to look on your shitty phone you know, I really don't give a shit what you're up to anymore". He went red, looked anxious and told me not to be so pathetic and paranoid. But he still took the phone.
Come to think of it, the phone is pretty much glued to him all other times too.
OP posts:
choceyes · 13/06/2011 07:16

Sounds suspicious to me. And aghast that your DP would talk to you like that in bed Shock

SnotFace80 · 13/06/2011 07:18

He never used to Choceyes Sad

OP posts:
AttilaTheMeerkat · 13/06/2011 07:25

How long has he acted this way towards you?.

Do you think deep down he has met another woman?. This may well account for his coldness towards you. Phone also glued to him is yet another possible clue.

Am sorry you are going through this.

Thandeka · 13/06/2011 07:29

Could your cold hands have shocked him? I know if my DH tries to snuggle up when he is cold and I am warm really makes me go eeep! I hate it and will sometimes snarl fuck off at him because it gives me such a shock and really really I hate the feeling of cold hands on my toasty warm body.. Not making excuses for him (or me) but could it be summat like that?

SnotFace80 · 13/06/2011 07:32

Attila, I'd say it has been like this since about Christmas. We used to sit and watch TV together when the kids went to bed, now he makes excuses so that he doesn't have to spend any time alone with me (unless he wants sex, then he can be nice Hmm )

Thandeka - could be but we both do this all the time, he does it to me more often than I do it to him and we've never acted aggresively towards each other over it like this.

OP posts:
Thandeka · 13/06/2011 07:56

Yeah then it doesn't sound good. :( H knows not to come near me unless hands are warm now!

Northernlurker · 13/06/2011 08:11

I don't like that sound of this either. Nobody likes being snuggled by somebody who is freezing cold - I object to but not in a nasty way.

AnyFucker · 13/06/2011 08:30

Personally, I would be

  1. having the "serious talk" with him to let him have his say if something is up

  2. having a snoop on that phone (and anywhere else such as phone bills etc)

I understand your concern here.

M0naLisa · 13/06/2011 09:23

I would be having a serious talk to him. My DH hooks his phone up to the car speakers but if he goes to petrol station he leaves it in the car.

He sound very sus to me.

loopylou6 · 13/06/2011 09:29

I would be very suspicious too. I suggest having a snoop to see if you can find anything untoward, or alternatively, ask him out right. Does he have form for infidelity?

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