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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

So...Fathers Day coming up soon.

1 reply

JazzieJeff · 12/06/2011 18:29

This particular event always gets me feeling pretty down. My Dad is a narcissist and as such we have always had a turbulent relationship. He hasn't yet held 8 month old DS and tries not to be around him too long either... Long story, and I've posted about it in the past. We have a barely functioning relationship now; we are basically civil to one another and that's it.

Anyway, my Mum texted me this morning after 2 weeks of no contact (she last texted to thank me for her birthday card) and said 'don't forget it's fathers day soon'. I mean, I'd already got him a card (seems the polite thing to do) but it just jarred.

My mother sent me a letter at the beginning of the year detailing everything id done wrong in the past year (including getting pregnant). I ignored it, but in fact it was the straw that broke the camel's back and sent me into a bit of a downwards spiral further into pnd (which I am currently being successfully treated for). Even when they found out about the pnd, they still didn't offer to help us.

I suppose I just wanted to vent a bit really and say 'how shit that this has happened'. I know I'm wallowing a bit, but I am getting there. I don't really think my relationship with my parents is going to progress any further. They think they were totally right in everything that they did, and that I'm wrong. So that's that. I hope I can do a better job with my own son.

OP posts:
monoid · 13/06/2011 02:43

:( I'm sorry you've had such a terrible time. I don't get on with my Dad either. My Mum died when I was young. I think you get to a point where you just can't afford to emotionally invest anymore. You have to take a step back and protect yourself and your family. I'm not saying you should never speak to them again (although I think it would be entirely justifiable) just that you need some space where you can feel comfortable having some sort of relationship with them without putting yourself in danger of getting hurt.
I'm glad you are on your way through pnd and I'm sure you will do a much better job with your ds.

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