I'm leaving you and the kids!

[RosieJones]

What kind of man leaves his woman and his kids to fend for themselves?

to be blunt, one who doesn't give a shit and isn't worth chasing after

A very selfish one. They're not that uncommon, sadly.

what kind of woman leaves her man and her kids?

For any number of reasons.

one who is at the end of her tether, and doesnt know what else to do.
one who is having a nervous breakdown, but no one is supporting her
one who just cant cope

one who is a selfish twat and doesnt understand about responsibility

the reasons are the same, whether man or woman

What sort of woman falls to pieces if her man leaves her to "fend"???

Bit anachronistic in this day and age.

A man who is no longer in love with the woman. I would say to any couple never stay together for the sake of children, once the love has gone, move on.

BUcharest - I can answer that one - one who is 2m postnatal with a baby with reflux and sleep ishoos. And 2 other DC.

You OK, RosieJones?

"his woman"?

Isn't it about time that we, instead of being so understanding, 'as a society' outwardly condemed them?

"them" who?

Men who fall out of love?

Please include women in this as it happens the other way aswell.

Is this a thread for opinions, and objective, or is it a personal thing, rosiejones?

If it's objective then my personal opinion is that the need for vulnerable women and children to be able to leave relationships is probably my paramount concern, and if the collateral of that is for there to be less stigmatism for men who leave, so be it.

If this is personal, then I would ask you how you are doing, coping.

see rosie you really need to be a bit more specific in what you are referring to.

there is nothing wrong with leaving a relationship if it is making you very unhappy/has come to an end/is damaging your children etc leaving the relationship is not necessarily leaving your partner to fend for themselves.

but if you are talking about someone who has taken all money/transport etc and fucked off knowingh that teh chidlren will have no ffod then your are talking about a low life bastard.

you need to clarify what you mean.

Animula I'm ok .
It's just that I know so many woman who have been left with young children and everyone is so understanding and say things like 'oh it's a 2 way thing'
Then off toddles the man happy as Larry and picks up with someone else and we all smile as if it's O.K.
At last I have come to my sences and realise it isn't O.K.

But surely it depends on a lot of things .

For the record , my dad was "one of those men" I suppose .

My parents married too young because my mum was pregnant .
Ten years he tried to make it work .
He then met the love of his life
He left but we as children spent every friday to sunday with him .
I love him and I love my step mum .
My mum then met the love of her life .
I love her and I love my step dad .

I know I am lucky , I know this isn't always the case but sometimes it is .

Staying together for the sake of the children and living an unhappy is an unrealistic expectation.

No one should be in a relationship that makes them unhappy, that means they just wake up to breathe and not live a life.

I would never say that a person who walks away from their family deserves to be condemned.

I applaud them for having the guts to walk away it can't be an easy decision for anybody. I let my children be brought up by me alone as a single parent rather than stay with their father who I detested. My kids were 7 and 2.5.

For me it was get rid of him or commit suicide with my children. I got rid of him.

rosie assuming that you are talking about feckless twats whose motto is "when the going get's tough, the tough get going"!!!

I'm with FabbieChic.

And Boyhoo.

Stigma reserved for the manner of the leaving, and how people act afterwards, rather than the fact of leaving in itself.

Bade relationships are just grim.

animula in fairness, the way I read it was who left them to get on with it, with the emphasis on geting on with it rather than the leaving part. I thought Rosie meant these blokes who walk away and start over again when things get a bit heavy, not just people splitting up

humpty -

wasn't directed at you - was only adding on to what I had posted earlier, in view of Fabbie and Boyhoo's comments.

I would totally and utterly condemn someone who walked away from their kids, an adult relationship is one thing, but to walk away from your children is quite another.

its just another style of abusive behaviour