help pls :((

[sjsd]

i am mum of 2 aged 18mths n 5yr and im currently 12weeks pregnant with my 3rd, i was with my partner to the bby im carrying for 16mths the father of my other hasnt had anythng to do with them for the last 19mths, there wa alot of violence n emotional abuse frm him and he is currently dragging me through the courts for access to his kids, he caused me n them alot of pain n heartache over the yrs which affected us deeply, he tore away my confidence n made me feel worthless, anyway i met the lad im pregnant to now n realy landed on my feet he is sooo nice and caring and hes realy bonded with my 2kiddies, but unfortunatly due to my past relationship i was always waiting for the rug to be pulled from under me as i felt i didnt deserve the happiness n the family life i now had this has affected our relationship to the point where my unborn babys dad doesnt want to b with me as i have pushed him away and in his words i didnt give him a fair chance which i didnt, he has promised to be there for the bby n kids which i know he will cos he has never let me down, but i am absolutly gutted as he doesnt want a relationship with me and im the one to blame for letting my past affect mine n my kiddies future, i am scared to death of bein a single mum to 3kiddies n watchin the love of my life move on n start a new relationship, i dnt want to force him into a relationship jus for the kiddies sake, he says he still loves me n there are still feelings there im jus soo scared and realy struggln to hold it all together any advice??????????

Indeed!

Exactly!!!!!! And what a positive that is. Well done you. So you do have the strength. Onwards and upwards. Best of luck xx

But do tell your midwife, health visitor like others have suggested. They are more helpful than you know xx

Yes, tell your midwife, you'd be amazed at the support they can give you and people they know who can help.

Keep going. Best of luck xx

im going for my first scan tomorrow :) so i will be speaking to my midwife in the next few days...

things are a little clearer now i know what i need to do, and i guess that all is not lost as my partner says he loves me so if i can get over my past and prove this then hopefully things should fall into place

Small steps SJ, small steps. It's bloody hard work letting someone into your life again. Even if you feel that you are ready to be loved in your heart, your head may well have other ideas.

Just take your time, get to know each other, deeply. I know that you've kinda run with this before you've walked but just go with the flow as they say.

Talk to him, include him in all that you do and feel. My DH says to me that sometimes he feels like an outsider to my past life. But that's just it, it's YOUR past life, not as a couple, as YOU.

So, take it forward as and when you can. He'll worry about you, he cares, he'll feel your pain because he loves you and wants the best for you and your children.

I hope the scan goes well sweets.

Keep us posted xx

Best of luck. I'm sure it will all work out for you, stay positive, mouse Is right, include him in everything from now, including your feelings, no matter how bizarre u may think they are (if at all, speaking from experience), men will never, truely understand us women, but they can support, empathise and support. Most importantly, sort through your past issues for yourself. Explain what your doing but your doing it for you first. Hugs

scan was amazing the baby was rubbing his/her feet together very weird as this is what my partner does when hes going to sleep!!!! partner filled up when he saw the scan screen, he didnt know what to make of it lol he is over the moon :)

feeling alot better had a good talk, and let alot of steam off, im feeling much more positive towards things thanks all x

oh little one due xmas eve, ds is excited but if its not a brother he wants a dog, dd doesnt understand

at dog! Kids are so funny; would you call it Rover?

Glad you've had a talk, hope it works out well for you. Just remember that you've done something that a lot of women don't manage to do- you've got away from a vile and abusive ex. That is such a hard thing to do, but you were strong enough to do it. You can do anything!