has anyone been grabbed pushed by their partner before?

[positivesteps]

Just wondering how far you have gone in a very heated argument with your partner male or female? Have you always stayed restraint and just argued or have you gone on to do anything like push, grab your partner ?

The only physical act I have taken against my ex partner was to try to grab her wrists to stop her hitting me.

Why do you ask?

Have you ever gone on and on to your partner that they snap and you or them end up pushing or grabbing them ?

No, and I don't think hitting/shoving/grabbing etc is ever acceptable personally, no matter how 'heated' the argument gets. I know emotions can riun high sometimes, but if one person is getting angry to the point they feel they might 'snap' and do something like this, the right thing to do is walk away until you're calmer.

Has this happened to you OP? Or have you found yourself doing it to your partner?

There are times when I have pushed him before. Sometimes our arguments get so heated. He has also grabbed me and shoved me out of the room before. I really know it is me that goes on and on in arguments and I know that I can cause an argument over the most trivial thing. I have depression low self esteem panic attacks etc had it for years partly due to bad family experiences. I often get insecure and make accusations such as is he cheating on me when there's no reason to believe this but my confidence is low and anxiety makes me worry a lot.

What do you think can we work this out? . I have slapped him before too so I'm not innoccent but I keep focusing on the times which were big arguments and feel resentful about that.

Also though I know you said the right thing to do is walk away but what if the other walks away but then you follow and keep pushing it further?

If it's getting physical, intervention of some sort is necessary in case things escalate, possibly counselling as a couple or as individuals.

If one partner tries to remove himself/herself from the situation but the other follows, the following person needs to get a grip and start allowing the other person time to cool off.

I think it's a good idea for you to talk through what happens when you row, when you're both calm, so that you can agree strategies to defuse it and avoid situations becoming as potentially explosive.

Yes I agree, the most important thing here is that you both agree (when calm!) that what's been happening is not good or acceptable, and that when things are getting out of hand you need to give each other some space or similar strategy.

Counselling might be a good idea, to give you a chance to talk about some of these worries and problems that lead to you rowing. it sounds like you need to be able to express your feelings of anxiety and ask for reassurance and affection, but at the moment you're doing that by making accusations and starting arguments, which is obviously not the best way! Not that it excuses him grabbing and shoving you like that though, he should not be doing that no matter what you say to him.