Does relationship counselling work??

[Nobunmyoven]

Dp and I have been together for nearly 9 years. We have two young children. Our relationship is not what it used to be, were bickering alot with eachother and our sex life has gone down hill alot since we had the kids. We have it about once a week but in all honesty, I only do it to shut him up!

There is just no spark anymore and I think we are falling out of love with eachother. We were never a really lovey dovey couple but since having the kids we are just so bad, we dont even cuddle anymore.

We were renting but as were applying for a mortgage at the moment, we moved home to my mums to save a few bob for the new house. Dp thinks that this is putting alot of pressure on our relationship but i think it is deeper than this.

Were thinking of going for counselling to see if that will help. Does it actually work?? I just wish we could get that spark back again. Sometimes i just think are we better off just breaking up but then I want to try everything before giving up as the kids would be devastated not having Dp here anymore.

It's worked for me twice. With XH made me see that it was never going to work for us and Helped my healing after the split. With DH it has got us both through two affairs (his). We are still together and life is a lot better now, we both out a lot more effort in and are better contented with life. It is hard work and often very painful, facing up to ones own inadequacies always is. Am sure we will both keep going to see our wonderful counsellor for top ups as long as we can, I dread the day that she retires.

Absolutely reccomend it but don't expect miracles. A counsellor only helps you see things more clearly, he/she will not tell you what he/she thinks and will not give advice. Treat it as real you-time and a luxurious opportunity to get to know yourself. It is worth going alone if your partner is not up for it.

If you split up and go on to have a new relationship, you will end up having the same relationship you have now but just with someone else if you don't try and sort the one you're in out.

Couple counceling can provide an arena to explore your differences and your similarities, and at least if you are to separate, you would have a clearer understanding of why. It's definitely worth a try. If you have a dp who is willing to give it a go, it is definitely worth a go. Really you have nothing to lose and a lot to gain.

Thank you for your advice. We are going to book it this week. We both want to make this work for our sake and the kids.

Will let you know how we get on x