Long story short, my stepfather made my life hell as a child. I'd have moved out at 16 if I could have but I ended up moving out to live with my then DP when I was 18.
My stepfather has continued to hate me but has always adored my kids. When I became a single mum years ago, my mum helped me out by dropping my kids off to school and me to work on her way to work as I cant drive (I didn't ask, she offered). A few years ago my stepdad started driving her to work as she was finding parking difficult and having to walk a fair distance to the office. Now my mum has developed a phobia of driving and wont get in the driver's seat at all. She's now totally reliant on him, he drives my kids to school and mum to work.
She pays all the bills, she bought the car, he contributes nothing to their household and hasn't for years....they had a business years ago and he drove it into the ground with his spending.
In the last few years I thought we were making progress. We've had some Christmas dinners together, done daft things like go to the garden centre etc. Like families do I assume.
Here's where it gets complicated. My mum is pissed from about 6.30 every night, arseholed to the point where she can barely speak. It upsets me and makes me angry. I have begged her to stop but she blames me, says worrying about me makes her drink (single parent blah blah). I spend a lot of time feeling angry towards her which probably does make me unreasonable at times.
She is quick to criticise me...tells me "that table needs a wipe" or "you need to put that recycling out". Do I go into her home and tell her that her crystal glasses in the display cabinet have two years worth of dust on them? no. It's none of my business.
I guess it got to boiling point. Years of resentment. Mum and I had a row a couple of days ago. My stepfather ran up my garden path and threatened to hit me for upsetting my mum (how ironic). I told him to try it, that I wasn't a child anymore and no longer scared of him.
It brought back some really horrible memories. My head is all over the place. I hoped he had changed, I thought he loved my kids, I thought he was maybe sorry for everything he did to me and mum and was trying to make amends. Clearly not, as he has slagged me off to ds since, told him i'm mad (I suffer from depression).
I dont want him anywhere near my kids now. I tried to tell my mum tonight how I feel but she was pissed as normal, said she needed sleep. (After accusing me of lying and trying to start an argument). Why the hell would I do that? I hate confrontation. I told her that if her husband carried on slating me to my children I would not let them go there anymore. She told me I was selfish.
I dont know what to do.