What to expect from couselling

[whatsallthehullaballoo]

I have book an assessment session with a local health clinic with e counsellor. I have had many issues from childhood abuse and now an eating disorder but have never had the courage to go to the gp. I am extremely nervous as I have never had to vocalise what happened and do not know what to expect at all.

Are there any positive counselling stories or advice anyone has please?

Anyone?

Im not an expert on counselling but from my point of view i found the first few sessions the hardest. It wasnt like " please sit down and tell me about what has happened to you". it was so much more pleasant as we broached the subject. I found the 1st few though really hard and came out bawling my eyes out (dont wear mascara if you have to get the bus home after it!).

After a while though it does get easier not to deal with but to accept its happened and is part of me, to deal with it will take a lot longer for me personally, but i keep going back for regular sessions still.

You have made the first step which is actually the hardest and thats reaching out and admitting you need some help, well done cos not a lot of people cane do that, you will be fine, think of this as a stepping stone to moving onto the rest of your life and enjoying it without letting the past cloud over everything xx

A counsellor is there to listen to you in a safe, non-judgmental environment. S/he won't push you places you are not yet comfortable to go. In classic talk therapy, s/he will mostly ask you questions, and you should be doing most of the talking and thinking. The counsellor won't give you direct advice, but rather find ways through your conversations for you to find the root causes of your problems, and thereby identify what you need to work on.

Some types of counselling are more active, and will include concrete tips and actions for you to undertake to change your patterns of thought (like cognitive behaviour therapy, for example).

Really, you could use your first session to quizz the therapist: what is his/her method and training? What can you expect of your sessions together? Don't hesitate to also state what your goals are in undertaking therapy, and ask him/her if and how s/he expects to get you there.

I had weekly counselling for 7 years to help me unravel the mess caused by what happened in the first 25.
You do need to be able to build a relationship with them, although it is a little one-sided as they don't reveal much (if anything) of themselves.
Some weeks I would cry almost continuously but I usually felt better for doing so. Overall, bringing all the crap to the surface can make you feel quite raw and vulnerable, and I found that I needed to be around people who were more sensitive and careful with their words; any criticism felt deeply wounding.

You may find yourself thinking 'why can't I cope- other people have it worse than me' but no-one else lives in your head, and the way you feel is valid.

It was hard, but probably one of the best things I have ever done for me.

I hope your sessions bring you peace.
Good luck x

also: a counsellor is a professional like any other. Some are better than others, some would be good for another person but won't work out for you. If you feel after a couple sessions that communication between you and your counsellor is poor, or you just feel it's not working out, don't hesitate to say so and look for another counsellor. I've had three: 2 very good, and one who I found terrible and quit going to after 4 sessions. Overall, I have found therapy to be an extremely positive experience: it has given me insight into myself that I hadn't been able to reach on my own. Sometimes it is very difficult, because you are exploring deep hurts to your psyche, but the insight and awareness gained through therapy are the necessary first steps to heal those wounds.

Well done on reaching out for help.

I've had a variety of counselling to help me with issues like bereavement, an eating disorder and things related to my horrendous childhood.

There's some great advice upthread. I'd just add that, if you find a counsellor you trust, there is value in being as open as possible. It's not easy, but it is very rewarding.

My experience of counselling has been mostly very positive. Counselling has helped me to see what experiences have shaped me and my reactions to events, and how to cope with new issues as they arise.

I never, ever thought I'd go for counselling, but it has been a real saviour for me. Counsellor is non-judgemental, consulting room is cosy and private, and she keeps a professional distance, which suits me. I was scared of verbalising stuff and found it hard at first, and the first two sessions wiped me out. I'm relaxing into it now and my counsellor is making me understand my anger and low self-esteem, and finding ways to deal with these issues has been a fantastic help.

You've done the hard bit - now get thee to those sessions!!

Thank you to everyone for your advice and kind words...I was just beginning to doubt the point of going again (as I have done for years), but you have all given me the confidence to give it a chance.

I am so pleased that you all seem to have had positive experiences, although it is awful that so many of us have needed counselling due to abuse issues.