Getting back with husband. Finally made up my mind

[lifeshock]

Hi well I posted a few weeks ago about whether to get back together with my husband. He left me and the kids five months ago but then decided that he still loved me and wanted to come back. At the same time I had also started seeing someone else who I liked.

Anyway I decided to try and give it a go with my h and stopped seeing the boyfriend. When I first split with H all I wanted was us to get back together but you know what these last few weeks I have felt anxious, depressed (not a good sign)
We have talked and been to counseling and he just blames me for everything in our relationship, I am too controlling, I don't give him enough freedom, I make all the decision etc etc. He has been laying down the law that if we get back together I have to let him out all the time, have to let him go on a lads holiday.

Basically after listening to this crap day after day I have decided enough is enough, he has never even said sorry or acknowledged what he has done to us!! He almost acts like I he is some kind of trophy I should fight to win back.
Anyway I have had a revelation today. Sod him. I am not going to put myself through this, with someone who thinks so little of me. I was going to do anything to save my marriage but not anymore
I originally posted husband or boyfriend but no I think NEITHER. I am doing okay on my own, I have good friends and a good life
I am worth more than this
Just though I would share and to anyone in the early stages of this. If he leaves he probably will eventually want to come back but sometimes it is just too little too late
I have finally found my SELF RESPECT and boy it feels good!!!!!

So admiring of your ability to do this and wish you lots of luck for the future.

Good for you. It often takes a separation to realise that the relationship wasn't all that good!

You will be a different person now to the one he married

Hurrah for you!

woo hoo :D do you know what, it's sooooo refreshing to hear people talk like that... too often people put up with a crappy relationship because they either think they can't do it on their own, or it's the best they will get (i included myself in that sentance), but don't realise that actually they can and do, do better.

If you find yourself feeling fed up (which you will) come back on this post and remember how good it feels to have found your self respect!!

Thanks everyone. I actually feel the best I have felt in weeks.
Always come on mn for support. There is a lot of lovely people giving a lot of good advice

Well done. You have made the right decision - he wasn't missing you he was missing domestic service and an available vagina he felt entitled to use.

God your thread is encouraging, thank you and all the very best of luck.

Well done to you

for recognising that there is no way on earth you should have to put up with that crap

being single is infinitely better than being held to ransom by somebody else's idea of what a relationship should be like

your H really wanted his cake and eat it too, didn't he ?

how dare he try and lay down terms...he certainly underestimated you m'dear

now you are free, take your time and I reckon someone much better than both of these men will come along, but that will only happen when you are in a really good place yourself

You did the kind, decent thing letting him free. Now he can go on all the lads' holidays he wants.

I am in the early stages of a separation from DH, so it was VERY refreshing to read your post, it reminded me that actually, we can get on with things on our own!

Well done you, and good luck!!

Indeed, let him enjoy his lads' holidays that were so important to him!!!

x

Good luck the early stage of a break up is very very tough but you will get through it and come out the other end. being single, isn't that bad you know, better than being a doormat
xxxx

Good luck but I have a feeling you are going to be just fine. x

So glad you made the decision, not him. I hope it really takes him by surprise.

I hate the thought he's single, though, and about to make another poor woman miserable.

Good for you, and good luck!

I honestly think he would put as much effort into a new relationship as he did in ours. i.e zero. I think that a women would have to be desperate to put up with that we had our history and children together which is why I did. He really hasn't that much to offer.