Dating online- would you ever lie about your age?

[babyface2]

Would you?
I am thinking of registering on some sites and know that my age will be a disadvantage. I am mid 50s.

I know from looking that many men have a cut off point of 45-49.

I know this is crazy, shallow, etc etc, but that's life.

I do though look much younger. I am not being big headed- but people who don't know my age are genuinely shocked when I tell them my age- they aren't being kind, honestly! They think I am 10-12 years younger than I am.

I have a young outlook and am not typical for my age. I am not especially interested in men my own age - but yes there are exceptions- as they often have a very middle aged outlook on life and have one foot in the grave.

What's your opinions? I'd come clean eventually and yes, i can see it won't paint me in a good light, it's just during the getting to know you stage.

I am always a very honest person and find it hard to think of acting this way- but just wondered?

No, I wouldn't do that

You will look like an absolute prat when you have to come clean eventually

No. Lying about things (particularly age) on a dating site profile is not a good idea if you are serious about finding someone. Many people take the view that if you are willing to lie about one thing, you may be lying about others.

I began internet dating in my mid-fifties and met my now DH after about 18 months.

No never. It's too much of a biggie to just come clean about without making the person question everything you ever told them, and they might have an age in mind of person they want to see for a reason that's nothing to do with how you look... so just because you look younger doesn't mean that makes it ok.

what if you meet the man of dreams, how are you going to get out of the deceit?? setting yourself up for problems with anyone interesting you may meet IMO. YOU CAN ONLY BE YOURSELF

I am willing to date a younger man or at least one not much older than me- and I just know that most men are very agesit in attitudes.
I suppose I was thinking that after a few dates if they were keen I'd say it had been a white lie. No?

def no no!

I wouldn't want to date a man who's so shallow he won't look at a good woman if she's in the "wrong" age bracket. If he don't have the sense to know there's many a good tune played on an old fiddle, he can put his bow back in the case as far as I'm concerned.

OK. You say you are mid-50s. Let's assume that means 54 - 56.

People who specify an age range (and are probably within the age range you seem to be seeking) frequently have 49 as the top of their limit. That big 50 (or 40 / 60 for people a decade on either side) is where they stop. That means that you will need to knock off 5 - 7 years. Do you honestly believe anyone worthwhile would find that level of deceit acceptable?

Put your energy into writing a decent profile that is interesting, humourous and honest, be prepared to throw away your own tick list and just enjoy meeting new people.

Nope, be honest from the start.

Good luck, and enjoy

Do you honestly believe anyone worthwhile would find that level of deceit acceptable?

Well, yes I do really!
To me, it's not a big deal really. I wish dating sites allowed you to post without adding your age as it immediately pigeon holes you- that's what I don't want.

I am too old to have children- so it's not as if I'd be giving a man false hope that I could produce a baby, even if I said I was 49.

I'd be happy to date a man almost 10 years younger- I have once and he didn't know my age at first ( not met on a dating site) - or older. But I am pretty sure that many 49 year old men will not do a search for women aged 54. I've looked and they all stop at 45!

Is it really such a big lie if you come clean after a date or two?

Are you going to carry on arguing until someone agrees with you? Eventually someone will, I expect. It's not going to be me.

It's not worth lying, unless you're only looking for very short-term stuff, ONS etc.

A couple of years ago I dated a man who lied about his age. He'd only knocked off a couple of years, to get him in under the magic 50, but when he told me I was still pissed off and it did change things between us. It wasn't so much that he'd misled me, more that he thought I was so shallow I'd give a toss about him being 50 rather than 47!

What is the point in lying? You'll get a lot of first dates and not much else. Be honest, big up the positives and that way you'll know when you meet them that it's you that's attracted them, not the fact that you're '48'...

When I was an honest 55, I was regularly contacted by men up to 15 years either side of that. I met a number of lovely people - some younger, some my age, some older.

On the other hand, I know 3 women who were economical with the truth about their ages, met men they really liked and things seemed to be going well. So, they decided to 'confess' their little white lie. All 3 relationships were ended by the men concerned because they no longer felt they could trust these women.

Your choice.

And don't forget - you can contact them first! You don't have to sit back and wait for them to make the first move. If your profile is good, you'll get responses without having to lie about your age.

No I wouldn't. Why not just be honest and see what happens, you haven't even tried honesty yet.

babyface2 you dont seem to agree with the advice you requested, lie about your age and see who gets hurt by it all

You may find the whole experience more enjoyable if you drop the age related expectations and just see what happens by just being you

are we talking to the hand here ?