Meeting ex tonight - quick bit of advice please

[BibiBlocksberg]

Hi all,

Split with P in December 2010, I'm still in the rented house we lived in together.

Haven't heard a peep out of him since February.

He's let me drive his car until now as I can't get to work any other way.

Finally bought my own car and will be dropping his back to him tonight. Had it valeted this am, it's got petrol in it so hope it's fine from that point of view.

Have text him to let him know the car is coming back to him tonight but that I won't be speaking to him because a) I physically can't since I lost my voice yesterday and b) I will have my work colleague/friend with me who is following me up to his and will drive me home so not fair to keep her waiting around anyway.

I've text him to let him know the above and that there is a letter for him in the glove box of the car.

Letter is because he still has stuff of his at the house (such as big plants in the living room, odd piece of furniture, stuff in the loft)

I've been very matter of fact in my letter, not rude just to the point, firm and not chatty, told him to come and collect the items he still wants and if I haven't heard from him by 4th July I presume he has no interest in any of it and I will dispose of as I see fit.

So far, so long, sorry for the essay!!

The thing is, I KNOW he is sitting at his mother's waiting for me to say 'let's get back together' This is from speaking to his father and also, if ex p def. accepted it's been over between us since christmas he would have been in touch by now to demand his car/stuff back surely?

What do I do/say when I get the inevitable phonecall saying 'so are you saying we're not getting back together then?' (said in whiney voice, followed by anger)

I made it very clear at christmas that we were splitting for good but he's not good with accepting reality so am dreading stirring this all up again tonight :(

Also, I don't have to let him in the house if he says he wants to get his stuff together himself do I?

Not sure what I'm asking anymore here, sorry, just flapping cos all has been peace so far but that will be shattered when I have to tell him yet again it's over between us. Sigh!

How about putting as many of his things as you can fit into his car, driving it round there and putting the key through the letter box, in an envelope with a brief note if anything else needs to be said (eg where it's parked)? No need to exchange a word.

I don't know whether he has a right to come in - is his name still on the tenancy and is he paying rent? If he's not, then I doubt he does have a right and you can bag it all up.

If he is, you could ask your rental agent/the legal board/CAB if you must allow entry? Someone else here may well know too.

If you do have to let him in, have a friend/family member with you.

That would have been the best thing to do I agree Annie. However, my friend from work wants to follow me over to his as soon as we finish tonight and like a twit I didn't put any of his boxes etc in the car this am.

Aside from that it's a sporty two seater type car so only small boot so can't fit in plants, weight bench, push bikes etc anyway. More's the pity. :)

Thanks for replies Annie and buzzsore helping to keep the nerves down to flap talk about it.

Bah, trust him to have an impractical vehicle!

Anyway, you did the hardest part, getting rid of the miserable sod. Welcome the whining as proof that you did right and are continuing to do right.

'Welcome the whining as proof that you did right and are continuing to do right'

Good Point, I just HATE having to repeat myself as if nothing had ever happened that's all.

Not much I can do about that though come to think of it. It's so excruciatingly uncomfortable.....might just tell him to have a bit of pride if he starts up again actually.