More sociable than my DH....

[waterbaby82]

Hi ladies,

Just wanted to get your opinions really...I am far more socialble than my husband and would love to see friends every weekend for dinner etc, and go out a few nights a week, whereas he loves a night in with me, DVDs and a bottle of wine. I am also very close to my mother, and see her at least once a week for a catch up. Am I asking too much for him to come with me every week to see her or should I just head over on my own (she is only 10 mins away!!). Also, she wanted us to go on holiday with her, and DH isnt keen - just go on my own??

Thoughts please....

Do you enjoy your DH's company?
Might he think you would rather be with others than with him?

"There may be trouble ahead..." re MIL and holidaying together with reluctant partner

Just wandered, do you want to spend any "Quality" time with your husband, you seem to be wanting to get away?

As you'd expect in these situations, a compromise agreed by the both of you would be the best solution to pursue.

I adore his company, but do also love the company of my girlfriends and my family - perhaps I need to get a better balance and not make such a big deal out of it?

"Balance", a good idea!

Yeah I'd say just get some balance. I wouldn't expect your dh to be going to see your mum with you every week, no. The odd time maybe?
As for going on hols with your mum when your hubby doesn't want to, again no. The thoughts of going away with my ILs leave me cold tbh - it's not for everyone.

Re you being more sociable, I'm like that too with my dh and I often go out without him but I also don't make excuses for him. You could stay in one night of the weekend and go out the next? I'd expect him to make the effort every once in a while though....

But as long we have quality time together, its ok to have time apart isnt it? For him to chill at home and me to see my mum or girlfriends?

Helltotheno, thanks for your message. I am happy to do things on my own, see my mum, friends etc and I need to accept dh actually likes time on his own to play guitar,listen to music etc - if you go out without him, does he just stay home?

Re going away with the inlaws - awful to go alone with my ma (only for a few days) and leave him to chill @ home?

I'd say of course it's ok! It's probably not your main hol so what's a few days? I'm sure he doesn't mind you going off for a while...

My dh does a lot of sport, cycling etc, and he's always happy enough for me to go off on my own or with kids. He's a little bit on the introvert side too though, and wouldn't always be up for going to the things we get invited to. Sometimes I don't mind going on my own, other times, I go on my own but am llikely to be asked where he is and have told him I won't make an excuse for him, ie I won't say 'x isn't here because he had to do x', I actually more or less say 'x knows about it and chose not to come' or words to that effect. Because he knows I do this, he makes an effort the odd time even if he mightn't be bothered.

Definitely don't feel guilty about it. You have to keep your other relationships going...

Good, just as I thought - dh has no problem with me going out sometimes and leaving him home, I just need to not worry about it!!