Just wondering how this has panned out for people who have found out that their partners have been having an affair.
Particularly interested in situations where the cheating partner has left for the OW/OM - do they actually start to really believe the nonsense they come out with to the point where it becomes fact? Or do they slowly start to remember that the partner at home was not some 6 headed demon who made their life a living hell?! A bit extreme, but my ex is so madly in love with his OW (now his girlfriend) that he left the family home back in January for her and has been waiting patiently for her to move over to the UK from the US (sometime in July ? and yes, she is coming).
?Fair? enough, he can go and be all lovey dovey, but why does he have to re-write our history?! That?s what I don?t get??and even more worryingly, what if he starts to believe the stuff he is spouting? I do realize that everything is about perception and of course, what he may have perceived as a problem or issue, I may have been the opposite??But the man has gone from being unhappy for 3 months before affair, to 6 months, 9 months, 1 year, 2 years and now the whole 11 year relationship! He seems to have forgotten that before we had our DS, I arranged and paid for the bulk of our hols/weekends away and ?going out? things like gigs, sports events, experiences (he is now full of bitter resentment and now says that he has had to subsidize me because he paid 60% of bills/mortgage ? though he only did this because HE insisted as he always earned far, far more than me!). Apparently, I never did anything for him, yet the only thing he did was to take the bins out once a week, oh and mow the lawn every now and then......on the very odd occasions when he cooked a meal ? only ever a stir fry or steaks ? I would have to chop and prep the meat and veggies before I put DS to bed and he cooked whilst I did the long-winded bed routine. If I was out in town shopping, I would call him (he worked from home) and ask what he wanted for lunch and bring something in or make something for him. Lots more petty examples like this and some of the things he has accused me of, he wouldn?t dare accuse his girlfriend of?..I know I should just ignore him, but he is driving me potty! Esp as he is now dragging DS into the mix by saying that I made family life a daily living hell (I did confront him about this, to which he claimed ? the very next day ? that he couldn?t remember saying that!).
I am veering between the extremes of not caring and being slightly paranoid that I am indeed the 6 headed demon he imagines me to be??as much as friends and family reassure me, I think it?s hard for them to relate when they have not been through this iyswim?