need to have conversation re money.

[nappy84]

I am feeling fed up re money situation at mo. DH has spent the best part of £1000 on things he has chosen. (ok I have benefited from one item). I now want to spend maybe £300 on a holiday for me and dc. He has been moaning about that. (can't afford it etc) I do have funds available to pay for it.
How do I make him see he is being unreasonable or am I unreasonable?

If you have funds available to pay for it I don't understand what the problem is?

Er, point out what he has spent on himself. Point out you have the funds available.

Is there some other reason he doesn't want you to go, apart from money? Thresh it out with him, and get to the root of why it is he thinks it's ok for him to spend money (without your agreement?) but gets to veto your spending.

I can understand him not wanting you to go without him cos he'll miss you or be a tad envious of you off having a good time while he works(?) But those emotions are on the selfish, dog-in-the-manger side and he ought to see that & get over them to let you go without guilt.

I don't think it's unreasonable to go on holiday without him and if you can't get a solid reason other than money (if you really can afford it) or the somewhat selfish emotions above, I'd just book it and go.

Is there a particular reason your DH won't be going on the holiday? Is he jealous?

And what on earth did he buy with the £1k?

You can't 'make' him see that it is reasonable. You can't change the way he thinks. Presumably he knows what we know but he chooses to see it as 'we've spent £1000 and now she wants to spend another £300 and that's ott' rather than 'I spent £1000 on me it's only fair she gets to spend some money on herself too'. If he knows the facts but sees it his way then you can present your point of view and ask why he thinks it's fair for him to spend money but not fair for you to spend money. But you can't MAKE him see it your way. He may still disagree and sulk.

However, you can choose to assert your own POV and spend the money anyway and put up with a bit of moaning.

XH never saw the point of holidays. He thought nothing of spending large amounts on computer games for the DCs (genuinely for the boys, he occasionally played on the PS2 a bit but it wasn't really his bag) and plastic tat and rather nasty (in my view) ornaments, but holidays he said were a waste of money because you had nothing to show for them.

Mind you, since leaving him I haven't needed a holiday

Thank yuo for your replies.
Sorry being a little vague as I didn't want to be outed. £300 of the money is on something he buys each year and I have always been consulted. The other items relate to a the inlaws anniv. We paid for us to go on holiday with them (fair enough) and anniv party. I guess its the party bit that I feel a bit put out by. Wrong I know but I lost my remaining parent 4 months ago.
I suppose I have been wary of discussing it since his last outburst.
I guess there is alot more to it than that. As a SAHP I think he seems to have attitude of "What are you spending my money on?" Not said it outright but thats just how i feel. The holiday with be paid for out of a small inheritance I will be receiving. I know strictly this should go into joint pot but I kind of feel entitled to it in the circumstances.

Sorry for your loss.

It's a little unusual to pay for an anniversary party for your in-laws, although it's not entirely for rational reasons that you resent it (I sympathise 'though, truly).

What do you mean by 'outburst'?

I can understand your desire to do something nice with your inheritance, and I think you should go ahead. £300 isn't a huge amount and probably make very little difference to the family finances, just disappear into it.

Just a verbal strop. That came out a little wrong. I think its also about wanting to cling to the people who understand what I am going through. Would be going away with sister.
Guess i need to make it clear how important this is of me.