Childhood romance 20 years later

[Montessorisam]

Hiya

has anyone had this experience? Met up with my first boyfriend after 20 years. How weird!!!! But the weirdest part was that we were still the same but a little bit more grown up. 20 years!! We talkedfor 4 hours but we have not spoken in 20 years!! Does anyone else have this weird experience? I can't get my head round it....

Yep had this weird experience, didn't end well. If you're involved or he is, or both of you then think very carefully before talking anymore. Sure it is possible to have a friendship like this but think it's not normally a good idea.

Thank you. omg. I haven't done anything yet. We are both a bit damaged, end of marriage etc. I will be VERY cautious. Just a bit of comfort at the moment. I just wondered how people got on with it. It's an interesting one isn't it?

Well if you're both single then go for it :) Let it develop into whatever it does! Sorry to sound overcautious but I have been really badly burned. I think sometimes we trust people from our past because we think they are still who they were then, or we ignore the warning signs because of a past history.
But it is the strangest experience to realise you're all grown up but technically still the same person you were so long ago. I felt a connection that was unlike anything I had before, it was amazing :)

yep, 10 years and one DS later we are still going strong.....!!

Oh that is brilliant Bluddymofo!! 50 years must be even weirder! Facebook is what is making it all happen I guess.
Nettletea - inspirational. Cheered me up. Well done you. (especially after I have just had an horrendous phone call from STBXH)
OMG - That is the one to watch - trusting people from the past. Yes I feel very trusting of him but maybe I should watch myself. I am still very sore from marriage (in fact still going through hell!!)
It's wonderful hearing all the experiences though. So romanticXX

Oh really sorry Bluddy (put my big fat foot in that one - sorry!!) No that is not good at allXX Oops going to go away now with head in hands

Yep exactly same thing happened to me. After my ex and I separated I contacted my ex on facebook - we were already friends on there but I knew he was a single parent and I wanted his advice - Anyway we ended up chatting on the phone for hours and like u said, it was exactly the same. Had a good laugh and a flirt but nothing more. Just what I needed after my marriage had fallen apart.

Anyway he's with someone else now and so am I but we still message occasionally and keep saying we will meet up sometime. Don't know whether that's such a good idea!

I got back together with mine, after ten years, (and a baby with someone else) All lovely, and we have 2 dcs together as well now.

Lots of talking and sorting to do first though, and I must admit, I still feel guilty for dumping him years ago, but confused about regret because if things had been different then I wouldn't have my first dc.
There's good and bad bits, but very happy overall.

Hi Montissorisamhat

A similar thing happened to me a few weeks ago. I met my ex fiance that I hadnt seen for 17 years! It was so wierd. The pub that we saw each other in was where we used to go when we were together which made it even stranger. It was like stepping back in time. It was like we had been apart for 5 minutes. He was exactly the same as he was back then (in looks and personality) though I would go as far to say he is even better looking now.

It has really unsettled me if Im honest.

Notenoughtime - how did it go? Do you still like him (obviously still fancy him ;))
Will you see him again? It is unsettling isn't it? It's nice because he still cares about me but I can't work out if he cares in a long way back good friend type of way or not. And I'm not sure if I fancy him really either! It's just nice seeing him again.

Hi again Montessoriam

Sorry I didnt make myself clear. We didnt meet up on a date or anything. It was actually a funeral and then we went to the pub after for the wake.

The spark was def still there yes.

Im happily married, he has just got divorced.

The reason Im unsettled is because I feel there is "unfinished business" between us and I dont know how that can ever be resolved (not in this lifetime anyway).

So my situation is a bit different to yours as I cant allow myself to have any feelings for him. However if you are footloose and fancy free then why not play it by ear and see how you get on. I know a lot of people say an ex is an ex for a reason (and I agree that there is some truth in that) but I would also say that there was also a reaon that attracted you to each other in the first place and if thats still there (on both sides) then my advice is to (slowly ) go for it. Good luck.

My uncle met his childhood sweetheart about a year after his wife had died, and about 40+ years since they first went out. Her husband had also died. They married soon after and had 20+ happy years together until she died just before Christmas.

If you are both single, take it as it comes - good luck

Have you all read Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel García Márquez?

no but i will now!! ;)))

I think it's easy to project things onto childhood sweethearts and look for signs that they are "still the same" / still care because it's reassurring, but not necessarily real.

My first serious boyfriend (used to see each other socially v occasionally for some years after breaking up) often seemed to make assumptions about what I was like now based on how he saw me when we were together - pigeon-holed me iyswim, and act a bit over-familiar. It annoyed me, so stopped meeting up. Recently had an innocuous exchange of messages on facebook and he was still doing the annoying things! Weird.

Montessorisam- enjoy and please report back

Dozer- good points

I re-met a lover from my late teens/early twenties. Been together 7 years now and have one DD and another dc on the way. Good luck!

Yes, I met up with my first love, 10 years after he went off with another girl...5 months later I was pregnant, and alone with his child.

Should've listened to my mother

I grew up with this boy in my road, had a crush on him for years, we went out briefly but he dumped me. We remained friends but I went out with somebody else, got pg and ended up marrying this other guy. I always wondered what boy no.1 was up to and where he was, we were very close friends.

1 year after splitting up with XH, I bumped into boy no.1, he was single. We hit it off and within 6 months we got married - we celebrate 9 years of marriage this year and our daughter is almost 4. We know each other through and through and love telling people about our fairytale story (this is the condensed version!). We have our ups and downs and hardships but he is my soulmate.

Yes, be cautious, but if you're both single, go for it!!

purplelostprincess - I love that story thankyou! Well done and good luckX

I am going to be very cautious but these are also lovely stories too (some of them, sorry CareyFakes). Little bit of romance left in me it seemsX

I will report backXX