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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Can he do this?

14 replies

IWantWine · 05/06/2011 16:13

My 'D'H has just told me that he intends to sell his half of our house! He says he has taken legal advice and he can do it.

It is in joint names and we have a joint mortgage. Surely, he cant do this can he?

OP posts:
ohmyfucksy · 05/06/2011 16:14

Are you getting divorced? I think he might be able to...

Thistledew · 05/06/2011 16:16

No. Not without your consent.

foxy76 · 05/06/2011 16:17

Just googled on the safe side for you and if the property is in both names he would have to get your permission
myequityloan.info/2010/01/can-my-wife-take-a-home-equity-loan-for-personal-use-on-a-jointly-owned-home-without-my-consent.html
Hope this helps x

neuroticmumof3 · 05/06/2011 16:24

i wonder who he thinks would want to buy half a house?

IWantWine · 05/06/2011 16:26

I want a divorce but he wont agree. I got independent legal advice (I dont qualify for legal aid) and was told that it was far too complicated and if he wouldnt co-operate it would be extremely expensive. Also I am not up to starting the proceedings while I have to live here.

He shouts and makes threats, I guess, on consideration, he wouldnt sell. He never does any of the things he threatens me with! In a way I wish he would. But he wont because although he says he hates me and I am an idiot, he wont divorce me.

Right now our joint account is frozen and I have to work otherwise I would have no money. He has a few thousand pounds in his own account whereas I am having to spend all my earnings on food for myself and my daughter and petrol and household things and I am slowly sliding into more and more debt. I just cant find any way out.

OP posts:
IWantWine · 05/06/2011 16:30

yes exactly neuroticmumof3, he just winds me up and I panicked I guess. But then I wondered if a 'landlord' might be interested. He just says these things to get at me. Normally I dont react but I can only take so much.

Thank you for your replies.

OP posts:
lazarusb · 05/06/2011 21:27

Are you claiming any benefits you are due? After all, you are no longer living together as a couple.
Also, I would tell him that you'd consider selling the property if he signs divorce papers and see what he says...he can't make your dd homeless. Have you contacted Citizens Advice re: separating and debt. They can give very helpful, free advice.

Anniegetyourgun · 05/06/2011 21:35

I don't think it's actually true he can sell his half of the house, as I believe it doesn't split into halves like that; it's rather that you both own everything, not each of you owning half, unless and until you have an agreed financial settlement. I wouldn't believe that he's had fair and honest legal advice. He could be making it up, he could have lied to the legal adviser to get the answer he wanted, he may have chosen to interpret what he was told in a way that suits him, or what he calls "legal advice" was a straw poll among his mates. Don't believe a word, get proper legal advice and find out where you stand. I agree that CAB are a good starting place.

maristella · 05/06/2011 21:37

I don't know much about the legalities, but I think you need more advice, which I realise is difficult for you right now. People on here often recommend the legal section on here, saying you can get fantastic advice.
Good luck, he sounds horrible x

Wisedupwoman · 05/06/2011 21:41

Agree with Annie - in divorce everything goes into the pot. Try wikivorce for some advice.
Good luck.

HauntedLittleLunatic · 05/06/2011 21:47

The other things that I notice is that he has his "own" savings. You might want to look into this as you are married even though they may be in a bank account in his name I think they are equally yours.

I know that having recently gone through a seperation as partners not married my savings were protected because they were in my name. I have seen in numerous places (including advice from CAB) that if we were married they would be joint savings. Not sure how you would go about getting "access" to them though as that obviously wasn't discussed in my case.

buzzsore · 06/06/2011 00:10

If you're married, he's talking rubbish. Get proper legal advice, apply for a occupation order or something (if it's appropriate), take copies of any financial/legal documents of his you can find.

Get informed, and piss on his parade.

garlicbutter · 06/06/2011 00:54

Oh, IWW, I'm so sorry it has come to this - and, frankly, happy to hear it has! It's taken courage to get this far, and now he's trying to beat you down. Annie's right.

Whilst you are married, there is no 'his' and 'yours' (I fell foul of that one, too.) That's why it's important to make copies of all account details, properties and shares, etc, pensions and investment, before he realises you're serious and gets hard advice. So do it now.

He also has responsibilities to your mutual DC. The majority of 'family law' practitioners expect to facilitate a mutually considerate divorce: you'd be forgiven for thinking those are few & far between but, in fact, the majority are fair! Not too many solicitors are experienced with manipulative, greedy, piss-taking spouses. Other posters on this board can give you directly appropriate advice; mine, meanwhile, is: take nothing for granted and don't trust "fair"!!

For now, get hold of all the facts - it may take some snooping & deceit - and tell your solicitor you expect an adversarial divorce, what do they advise?

I know you'll receive good advice here :) Good luck. Stay strong & wise, and gather support around you. It will be worth while. x

midwife99 · 06/06/2011 05:11

Having been divorced from a man who refused to move out even though he'd served divorce papers on me by a bailiff (!!!) I hope I can give good advice but a family lawyer is best. They are give free initial interviews. Keep copies of all documents inc his savings accounts & payslips. Worth getting house valued too. Then if you have grounds for divorce other than irreconcilable differences you can go ahead whether he agrees or not. Believe it or not refusing to financially support you & DC while still married counts as domestic abuse so you may have grounds there. You can't change the locks while he's at work because the house is jointly owned but neither can he sell anything without your consent. If he won't move out how would you feel about moving out & renting so you can get housing benefit until the house is either sold or a judge decides you should live there with DC? Also you are entitled to claim tax credits as a single parent from the date you decided to split even if he's still living in same house so you can ring tax credits helpline & backdate your claim to get some more income. The main objective of the courts is to house the children so whatever happens if you have custody you'll be protected but it could be very expensive to fight it out to the bitter end. I stayed in the house during the divorce (the police finally removed him for DV) but the downside of that was he stopped paying half the mortgage & when I contacted the bank they said they only pursue the borrower still in the house for payment even with a joint mortgage if the other party is living elsewhere! I had to go onto interest only until the house was sold. I wish I'd left & rented & claimed housing benefit & left him with the huge bills but it was less unsettling for the kids to only move once when the house was sold I guess. Food for thought I hope. Good luck!

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