Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DH and Heavy Drinking

3 replies

emlu67 · 05/06/2011 15:57

DH has always enjoyed a drink but the last couple of years he has been drinking a lot more - two or three cans or four bottles of beer, a bottle of wine (shared with me) and one or two liqueurs very night. When he goes out he returns much later than he ever used too and is extremely drunk although never ill.

We hosted a get together yesterday for some friends of his and their wives and again he drunk excessively (friends also big drinkers but none were as bad as he was).

Each time I asked him to help he would go away and not do it (this would never happen when he was sober). I was also trying to play host to the wives as well as look after the children, prepare food and clear up etc.

When everyone had gone I was still clearing up, had the garden to clear, children to put to bed, DD to have her verruca treated etc. He offered to help but didn't then just went into the garden with the children and rolled around on the grass. Next thing DD runs in very distraught saying he had cut his head and there was something wrong with him he was acting strange. He had somehow cut himself but didn't even realise he had done anything.

I took DD (7) up to bed and she told me she was frightened of him when he drinks and he doesn't care about her. This broke my heart as she is usually such a Daddy's girl and I realise that she is now grown up enough to understand that he drinks too much.

Once I calmed her down and put her to bed needless to say he passed out upstairs and we slept in separate rooms.

In all other ways he is a good husband although not very hands on with the children (which I resent) but I am scared he will drink himself to death if he is not careful and I never want my DCs upset in that way again.

I know I drink more than I should too so am trying to cut down but if I refuse to drink wine with him at dinner he will just drink the whole bottle himself as well as the beer and liqueurs.

I am not sure what to do but cannot carry on like this. He refuses to admit that he has a problem.

OP posts:
NotEnoughTime · 05/06/2011 17:01

Hi. I havent got any expert advice or anything but I didnt want you to go "unheard". Your husband sounds like he has a problem with alcohol. For your seven year old daughter to say that she is frightened of him is heartbreaking. Im the daughter of an alcoholic and believe you me I still remember how terrifying and frightening life with him was.

Im not saying this to upset you and Im not saying your husband is an alcoholic but it is clear that he has a problem with drink.

If I were you I would contact Al-anon before I did anything else as they have years of experience with alcoholics/binge drinkers/problem drinkers and they will advise you on what to do next.

Good luck.

shirleyshortcut · 05/06/2011 17:09

who buys the alcohol

neuroticmumof3 · 05/06/2011 18:56

I'm sorry you're in such a horrible situation. I think what your daughter has said highlights the impact that drinking can have on young children. You need to tell your DH what she said and see how he reacts. Is it a wake up call or does he go into denial? If it's the former then you can at least work on things together whereas if it's the latter then you may have to think about ending the relationship to protect your DD from his drunken behaviour. And you should definitely contact Al-anon whatever else you do.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page