Am I the only one to feel this loneley ?

[poppy2133]

I am 45, i have a wonderful 7yo and a fab DH. We both have good jobs, our own home and have our health. The one thing I don't have which is getting me so low is a close group of friends. I do have a couple of good, reliable, you could call at 3 am if you were in the poo type of friends but they don't live close by. I look around and all I see is people enjoying weekends with friends and family, having social lives and enjoying good networks of friends.

I am sure it is because many people I know have lived and worked in their own area for years and have built up their networks from as far back as school days. I came to this area a few years ago but I feel by my age I should have made all my friends and it is difficult to join already established groups as they all appear to have known each other for years.

I can honestly say I hated last xmas. Everyone was going to spend their xmas hols with friends and family and for us it was just another day at home but with the added bit of presents for DS. We weren't invited anywhere. I felt so loneley and felt the whole world was having a good time and just doing normal family things. I don't have any family as parents are dead and extended family all broke away years ago. DH's family are quite close but there is a click and they spend hols together without even inviting us. I spend most of my waking day putting these 2 facts together no.1 I don't have a group of friend and no.2 the rest of the family excluded us. Now I'm being paranoid that it must be me. I worry for my DS as he will also grow up with no family if they continue to exclude us. We have suggested going to visit some of the family over the summer hols but every date we suggested they were busy with somehting else.

When I take DS to school I literaly have to take him and leave staright away or else I will be late for work. I see lots of other parents hanging around chatting at the school gates. I'm glad for them that they are in no hurry to go to work and can therefore nip round to each others houses for chats etc but again this is just another area of my life where I seem to be passively excluded. Am I the only one who struggles with a social network and feels loneley ?

You're not the only one by any means.

Unfortunately the only way you can change it is to actively put yourself out there and risk rejection and get up again and try again. Invite children for playdates with your son and chat to their parents, make time to be friendly.

Thank you buzzsore, I have invited a friend to play this afternoon. His mum is nice, lets see how it goes. xxx

i feel the same as you, no family, very few friends and seemingly no opportunities to meet people who could become friends.

I invited DS son to come and play as mum is nice as well, friend came but mum said she couldn't come in right now for a coffee. Again, another rejection. Am I reading too much into things ? Neuritcmum - sorry you are too feeling like this.

Maybe she was feeling shy or had something planned for her child-free (yay!) time? That is the problem with play-dates, I guess, sorry - the desire to scarper while the getting's good .

At least you invited her in, and exchanged words, think positive .

You could try inviting them to something like a picnic in the park or beach bbq?

I think you have to keep trying with people, as it is so easy to stick to known quantities and when you're coming in from outside you kind of have to make people budge up to let you in.