my sil is 24. She graduated 2 years ago and had not looked for work since, and is financially dependent on my bil and pils and socially and emotionally completely dependent on bil- she does not socialise with others, and clings to bil at any family event, even texting him when in a different room in pils house asking him to come to her! She is I credibly shy to the point where I think she may have some kind of social anxiety. She also suffers from psoraisis. She had some treatment for this in the run up to her wedding and looked great, but since then it has got worse, which probably contributes to her shyness. Recently she has found out that her dad has terminal cancer, and has, understandably, been floored by this and has withdrawn even further. She has moved in with her dad to look after him, but it seems to be bil who is responsible for communicating with the hospital etc as sil is not up to this. She has upset other members of the family recently- her and bil have not congratulated or acknowledged the birth of other bil's second child 4 weeks ago, and she did not attend my ds's christening at the weekend asshe was not up to it, according to bil, who did attend.
Throughout this time I have sent her messages telling her I am thinking of her, offering to meet up when she gets respite from helping her dad (her mum and brother are around too), to pick her up and go out for lunch, or for her to come to mine, but have received nothing back, even though bil has told me he thinks it would be good for her to get out.
I am at a loss at what to do now. Should I persevere or is it too much? I don't want her to think she has been forgotten about but don't want to push it. She is really going through the mill at the minute and I really don't think she is well equipped to deal with it have said that, I have no idea how I would cope with one of my parents dying. Any advice?