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Original poster

men dating much younger women

43 replies

MrsMiniver · 02/06/2011 18:16

I've met an interesting, very attractive guy online and we've arranged a date. He's 55 and I'm 53. I've just noticed on his profile that he wants to meet women between the ages of 38 and 52 only. He thinks I'm 52 because I put that on my profile by mistake (honest!)

I'm quite comfortable about telling him I'm really 53 but what do you think about a guy who'd date so young and thinks someone 2 years younger is too old for him? I know what I think and am not sure I want to go ahead and meet him now.

OP posts:
turdass · 04/06/2011 12:51

I had a friend who was on match.com for quite a while. She is a nice person and young in personality and looks (she is early 50s). She got turned down after 1 date by loads of wankers who only wanted much younger women plus quite a few who told her they'd only date size 8-10s. She was a 12-14.

A lot of the men in their 50s seem to be out of one long relationship (maybe since their teens) with the kids/mortgage/hard work bit and they seem to think that now they are single thaat they can meet the girl they should have met in their twenties. They don't want to meet their equal so much as recreate their youth a second time round. Mind you, a lot of men are wankers Grin.

adamschic · 04/06/2011 13:09

Because he's deluded and thinks he can get a much younger women and will probably think you are an old crone and only meeting you because he hopes you might be grateful.

Seriously, it would put me off a bit that the doesn't want to date someone his own age but still meet him and see what he's like.

Original poster
MrsMiniver · 04/06/2011 13:43

Springchicken - sounds like an interesting article. And I've found it to be true, I have no trouble getting dates with younger men but don't really feel comfortable with anyone more than 10 years younger.

As for this guy, I'll probably meet him and see what he's like.

OP posts:
valiumbandwitch · 04/06/2011 18:22

This is what frightened me off internet dating. It seemed to me that even the older men (and I would consider them too old for me at 55, 57 etc) had 39 as their 'cut off'. I was 40 and so there net didn't catch me. But oh boo hoo, like you, I think what kind of delusion makes somebody think that they deserve, or are best matched with somebody SO much younger than they are. Let's face it. Politicians, movie stars and millionaires do this. Not blokes who do internet dating.

TDada · 04/06/2011 18:50

what's the big deal whether you are 52 or 53? It's not like the diff. betrween a 1 year old and a 2 year old IYWIM ??

fuckmepinkandcallmerosie · 04/06/2011 18:52

DP is older than me.

But I have more sense. Grin

strawberryjelly · 04/06/2011 19:25

I've noticed that lots of men on dating sites say they want a woman who is younger- right up to one year younger than they are! eg if they are 45 they will put ages 35-44. it's as if they cannot bear the idea of dating anyone a week older than them.

I find this quite offputting especially when their profiles look interesting- then you realise they have this weird ageist mindset.

if I am ever on a dating site I want men up to 10 years younger and one year older! I am young for my age and most men my own age have one foot in the grave.

HollyBollyBooBoo · 04/06/2011 20:26

I don't think it helps that there are morons like me out there who'll have phone sex with them despite the 17 year age difference!

Putthatbookdown · 04/06/2011 20:26

It been said on this site many times - and possibly else where too- online dating is not really a date UNTIL YOU HAVE MET THE PERSON IN THE REAL. People can spin any yarn on these sites and though many may be genuine you cannot tell until a meeting takes place. A year on or off your age will have no influence at the moment as so far you do not actually have a date as such.Remember too that as people are paying for this they are encouraged to expect more - of course they are paying ! These sites can offer a phantasy world for some, those who want "better" I would treat this all very lightheartedly and not worry in the least

SpringchickenGoldBrass · 05/06/2011 00:33

I do think, a little, that this bloke is being condemned as though he were the stereotype old fart wanting to date nubile young things. When actually his lower age limit was 38. Not 19. And the OP has mentioned nothing about him making comments about her dress size or potential appearance.
Of course, he may well be an entitled sexist dick. But he may also be a perfectly nice man with an open mind. MrsM won't know till she's met him.

Original poster
MrsMiniver · 05/06/2011 12:22

Just a quick update, I did meet him and he was very attractive and quite interesting but only managed to drink half an inch of his pint in the two hours we were together whilst I had two glasses of wine!

That apart I didn't detect any sort of sense of humour whatsoever and towards the end of the date he took my hand and started stroking it very intently and then leaned in for a kiss in the pub! Found this most off-putting because we'd only just met and when he asked when he could see me again I was evasive. So really it didn't click for me anyway but something about his behaviour did suggest that he thinks he's god's gift. And just to say I wouldn't have replied to his initial message if I'd noticed on his profile that he had such an arbitrary age limit so will make sure to check more carefully next time!

OP posts:
darleneoconnor · 05/06/2011 12:34

I remember a scene from Sex and the City where an older woman tells Carrie off for 'fishing in her pool' by dating the older Russian guy. I think she had a point.

muminthemiddle · 05/06/2011 14:07

Op- sounds like a nightmare tbh.

Thank Heavens you met in a public place, always keep safe you never no the real person you are meeting. Sorry don't want to put you off but he sounds like a complete dick.
Good luck for next time.

Omigawd · 05/06/2011 14:16

At least you didn't kiss the frog this time, but the dating game has a lot of them, no matter what age you are :-)

newyorkdoll · 05/06/2011 14:34

bibbitybobbityhat - lying is a terrible way to start a relationship...

carmenelectra · 05/06/2011 19:16

Sounds like OP had lucky escape!

I think men-particularly older, often have no shame. They seem to prefer much younger women even if they look like old codgers themselves.

I agree with the poster who said that older women tend to become invisible. And its no wonder that women often become obsessed with how they look when men are so shallow.

I do think with middle aged men who are back in the dating game that its a case of they may have got married to their first love, had quite vanilla sex during their married life and now are like 'whoh, looks what's out there!'

Let's face it, young women are hotter than ever and often dress very provocatively. Men would (mostly) much prefer to shag a young woman than one of their own age. They seem oblivious to the fact that they are embarrassing themselves.

Having said all of that, I much prefer younger men!:)

TDada · 05/06/2011 20:05

carmenelectra - i don't agree with you. Young women are often imatture mentally (and physically). One cannot generalise about age and attractiveness.

SpringchickenGoldBrass · 06/06/2011 09:05

Oh well MrsM, better luck next time. That's the way of online dating: people who sound nice often just don't click with you in the flesh.

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