To confront ex or not about test results?

[LessonsinL]

Some of you may remember me posting about my DP - that relationship ended about 2 weeks ago. I took myself to the STD clinic today as I've had some symptoms and they're reputedly much quicker at diagnosis, plus it's good to have a full screening after/before new parters.

Well, I've been told that nothing's definite, but from the symptoms and gentle internal examination, it's been suggested that I have P.I.D. It's too soon to tell from the rest results, but this could be caused by chlamydia, gonorrhoea or general infection, but it's most likely to be a sexually transmitted disease. They advised me to tell my ex and have put me on a course of 2 types of 2 week antibiotics, plus an injection to cover any basis as if it is PID, it needs to be treated now as it could affect my fertility.

I'm totally taken aback as I believed that my ex was sexually faithful to me in our relationship - I know I was!! I honestly don't know what to do. Should I wait for the final test results or confront him straight away - bearing in mind that he is more than a bit of a liar. But I don't want to bear the responsibility of his next poor partner contracting this disease from him.

Or maybe I'm just overreacting, and the people at the clinic like to cover all bases when it comes to this sort of thing. Help :(

How long were you with the Ex - does it necessarily mean infidelity? Could he not have contracted whatever before you met?

I think don't delay - just send a curt email/text saying I have an STD and you need to get checked. Then you've done your bit.

We were together about 18 months. What makes it worse is that we both went for tests before stopping using condoms, and he reported he was clean.

PID can take a very, very long time to develop. I don't know how long you were with your ex, but it's possible you had it before him.

Also, they haven't given you definite results yet... I was once diagnosed with gonorrhoea & "weak positive" syphilis. They recommended I visited another clinic for a second opinon (this was overseas). Paid a small fortune at the other clinic for a whole battery of tests, & I had a Bartholin Cyst & a serious yeast infection. No STDs.

I don't really know much about the life of STIs I am sure that many others here can tell you more than me.

I would have thought that if you had tests before stopping using condoms and were clear then I would imagine he is the one who has passed you something.

If he has done this then he probably lied about the tests and likely not to care if he has passed you something and won't do anything about it if you tell him.

Wait and see what your results are, it could be something else as said above.

The medical / nursing staff at an sti clinics used to do contact tracing and I'm sure they will still do this. Maybe if he is contacted by the clinic it will make him take notice and get some treatment, also (hopefully) they may have more chance of finding out who his new partner(s) have been. Well done for getting checked yourself - just hope he didn't lie to you originally.

If the clinic has advised you to tell your ex then I would tell him.