Unfairness in the way grandchildren are treated

[bloom123]

Grrr ... I need to let off steam. Why is that when we all get together for the day as a family with grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins, the badly behaved cousins get loads of attention from the grandparents, as they are all playing up, and mine who are as good as gold (I know I'm biased, but they really are!), get short changed and practically ignored by grandparents who are preoccupied with the naughty ones (who incidentally are ther same ages as mine !).

are they really 'naughty'...or just more lively and entertaining?

In my opinion, they are naughty - screaming unnecessarily, crying to get their own way, ignoring pleas to not do certain things (picking grandpas prized flowers) etc - aged 4 and 6 - maybe I have too high expectations ? I dont know, I just cant bear it, as it happens EVERY time we all get together ..

sounds like its the PARENTS who need to up their game then!!

Yes, they do indeed ...

I just wish mine would get a bit of grandparent attention for a change, and I know I cant say anything, I just wish they would realise !

Rant over.

I feel your pain. My nieces are not the best behaved little monkeys and they do lack attention from their mother so when they are at grandparents, aunties, uncles, great grandparents they get all the attention for their distructive behaviour and their tantrums and I look after mine. I sometimes wonder what the point of taking my children to family events is they can play with me at home without having to be upset that no one else will play with them.

It sounds like the attention isnt what the grandparents would like to have to give out. I would bet they secretly prefer your children to their attention seeking cousins.

How to the grandparents treat your children when their cousins are not there?

This is a very current topic in my family too. My son who is 2 and half is suspected of having autism, and have been working towards a clinical diagnosis for about a yr now with the health visitor and numerous other medical professionals. The prob is, is that i have a 1 and a half yr old daughter. When my mother visits she never has anything nice to say to my son and thinks its ok to keep telling him he is naughty. She is all over my daughter like a rash but wont even cuddle my son. He is not stupid and now thinks nannie hates him. Grr makes me so angry but she thinks shes done nothing wrong.

Don't worry, it will work out. The problem is that family would rather accept poor behaviour than disability. If the former you can be blamed and it can be 'fixed'. If the latter then it is a 'disability' and means that thers is something 'wrong' with the familly which reflects on their mental state. They will accept it sooner or later. It really is just shock in most cases. The one that is ' different' often ends up having more 'kudos' as it shows the family embraces 'Disability' and makes them politically correct. My family wear it as a badge of honour at times! x