separate rooms.

[libbylobs]

i have now been married 7 yrs, but have not shared the same bed for five yrs,he says its because daughter gets in with us, but i think he prefers it this way , its like we are companions and nothing more, hes a good man but theres nothing else there, what to do ?x

By "not shared the same bed," do you mean "not had sex?"
Vital difference...

only a hand full of times, and apart from work he never goes out , hes just doesnt seem interested.x

What clam said.

We visited Lanhydrock House on holiday once. The steward took great delight in pointing out the different bedroom suites for husband and wife, apparently the motto back then was "to share a roof but not a ceiling" as the secret to a happy marriage.

Makes a certain degree of sense to me, but both parties have to be happy with the arrangement.

i suppose i am generally but sometimes would be nice to have pillow talk and a cuddle, have tried to talk to him , but all he says if its not broken theres nothing to fix , am getting a bit frustrated.x

Time the dd had a bed of her own methinks.....

i think your right, but im sure he will make a reason not to ,i think he loves being on his own, o i dont no maybe its me ha ha x

I love sleeping alone. We both feel more refreshed and less grumpy

But we do have sex still so that helps. We just like sleep too!
I think what helps is we often have a weekend or night away from the kids
A dirty weekend if you like but it's a break and means we talk about normal things without interruptions!

Can u possibly introduce that? It really really has helped us.

i think that sounds like a great idea, thanks so much for advice, will have a chat with him x

libbylobs - "but all he says if its not broken theres nothing to fix". It sounds though, as if it is broken or breaking. Youa re clearly unhappy, so it does need fixing.

A weekend away sounds like a great idea, as does encouraging your daughter to stay in her own bed. Do you have holidays and share a bed then?

we do have holidays but still not in the same bed as DD always gets in . ino

i will have to sort this x

If one partner is happy with an arrangement but the other isn't, then it is time to compromise. The vital concept in keeping a long-term relationship alive!

you are so right i dont want it to come between us x

It could assist some couples i reckon
especially if one partner would have more privacy to "sort themself out"

DW and I have been sleeping in separate rooms for a few months now. The advantages:

1. Her snoring doesn't wake me up.
2. My snoring doesn't wake her up (not that I snore, of course ;))
3. We don't wake each other up when one of us needs the toilet.
4. We don't wake each other up by tossing and turning.
5. We don't accidentally kick each other.
6. We don't steal the duvet off each other.
7. We don't have to go to sleep / get up at the same time.
8. She can sleep with the window open, which I hate.

It's marvellous.

How old is your DD?

Sex doesn't have to be in bed . Downstairs in front of TV? I know it's hard to initiate if you haven't had sex for a while. I found that offering him a massage (with oils) got us back in the swingof things.

I would LOVE my own room, for many of the reasons that Toad has given, mainly the duvet battle and that I get disturbed at 6.30am when DH gets up. Am waiting for the dch to move out so that I can have my own room!

my daughter is 6 i no she should be put back in her own bed but i am so tired at the end of day , as i hav 3 adult children i lok aftermy grandsons of 2 and 5 during the week so they can work and not hav childcare costs.x