Abusive exP and contact with child?

[babyhammock]

I've finally left a very abusive relationship and have mananged to get an emergency injunction although exP is trying every trick in the book to get it removed. Also he's hardly seen DS in the last 3 years and now he's going for loads of acess. Has anyone been in a similar situation and what happened re contact with DCs. I feel like I'm drowning.

offer contact in a contact centre and take it from there

www.naccc.org.uk

how old is ds? for younger kids especailly contact centres v good toys books etc and safe you dont even have to see exP staff witll take child in and smoe centres will observe and report.

If you have an injuction against this horrible man, do you have any evidence of him being abusive towards DS? WA can probably help with this, if the man is violent or an alcoholic/addict or mentally ill and there is evidence of this you can probably keep him away from DS for a good long time. (Trying to get an injunction overturned is not going to endear him to the courts, either).
How old is your DS by the way? And does he want to see his father or is he afraid of him?

Thanks cestlavielife
On the second court hearing I offered contact in a contact center and the judge ordered it.
But what happens now? I have to go back for the contested hearing in 6 weeks and exP is lying about everything. I'm terrified that the injuction will get lifted and that the judge will order over nights. DS is 3 and has had very little contact with his dad as he just wasn't interested.

I had an emergency injunction against my childrens father, in fact I had to get two.

The children at the time were 7 and 2.5, I allowed him access whenever he wanted it, knowing that if he started I could call the police and he would be removed.

Your ex is doing all he can because he is an arsehole and wants to get one over on you.

I take it if he is doing all this he is getting legal aid, I bet he wouldn't pay for it.

Thanks springchicken
He has been very abusive to me infront of DS, but not directly to DS. I have a support worker and she thinks he has anti-social personality disorder but nothing diagnosed officially. There's a ton of evidence for it though.
I can't believe how much he lied on his statement and I actually thought that the judge was going to remove the injuction but fortunately he didn't so its now going to contested hearing.

I know DS needs contact with him, I just want him to be safe.

Fabby he's not getting legal aid and he actually took a barrister rather than just a solicitor to the court with him to defend the injuction.

Hi OP. I'm amazed he is contesting the injunction. Your solicitor can argue that if he isn't planning to contact or harrass you having an injunction shouldn't matter to him. I've been through this, I split with my abusive ex when DS was a month old and went to a refuge. I went to court and was given a residency order, injunction and prohibitive steps order and I offered a contact centre. I stated from the start that I wanted to give him a chance with contact but that my DS and I had to be safe.

3 years down the line my ex has had very unfavourable psychiatric and cafcass reports and the supervision has been increased so that we go to a secure facility and he has one to one supervision, and it has been reduced to once a month. They bend over backwards to give fathers a chance but I feel that in my case it's become a bit of a farce as my ex's behaviour remains terrible and it causes a lot of distress for DS and I. The one good thing is that I have been reassured that he is not going to get anything unsupervised for the foreseeable future, and it may in fact get stopped if he carries on with his behaviour because the resources and funds are limited.

It is a very frustrating and worrying process but you need to state clearly that you are not being obstructive, but you fear for your DS' and your safety and any contact needs to be properly supervised. Do you have a good solicitor?

Babyhammock: something to hold onto is that knobs like this often convince you that they have super powers and will always get their own way. This is not true. Plenty of people - social workers, judges, etc - are prefectly capable of seeing through abusers. Remember that the judge didn't believe his bullshit last time. You can insist on supervised contact and third party handovers and no contact at all between the abuser and you - everything can be handled through solicitors. He is using contact as a way of harassing you, and he may even give up and go away if stonewalled enough.
Millie: I'm glad it looks like contact with your vile XP is going to be stopped due to his behaviour. I don't think it's doing your DS any good.

Thanks Millie and Springchick. I really appreciate your replies.

He tried to get me to accept a thing that basically said that he just agreed not to harass me and that if he did he'd be in contempt of court. I felt that my solicitor urged me to accept this.

I know he wanted this as being in contempt of court would mean nothing to him. If he had no intention of breaking the injunction what was wrong with it staying in place, why dress it up as something else :-/

Ds is also actually only 2 years 9 months. He tried to get daily phone contact. I thought the judge was going to agree to that too but in the end he didn't.

He does think he has super powers and I know he can't believe someone is telling him he can't speak to me.

Can I insist on spervised contact though? I have a whole load of reasons but he's very manipulative and I'm worried that the judge won't see through him. I have 3 witnesses and I my solicitor had to persuade the judge to even allow them to be able to make a statement for the contested hearing.