My DH had an affair with his married first cousin (yuk!) just before we met. I only found out about this a year ago when he gave me his old phone & forgot to delete the archive. The dates tally so not suspecting it continued after we met. However, just before I found out & when our baby was a month old she sent him a text asking "Have I lost my looks? Do you think I'm as attractive as I was 10 years ago?" to which he replied "Don't worry, you're as gorgeous now as you've always been". He had a new iPhone & was showing it to me when I saw the texts so I wasn't snooping.
At the time I though what a weird thing to say to your female cousin & felt hurt because I was postnatal & needed him to say that to me! But didn't suspect anything. A few months later, found out the history & got really upset. She has had many affairs so this it was water off a duck's back to her.
To cut a long story short he agreed to break off contact with her if I stopped dragging it up. They continued texting & he was slagging me off to her & she was giving him advice to get rid of me & we went to Relate. He then made a promise to cut off all private contact with her.
I deleted her numbers from his phone at that point.
A year later I suspect they are still in contact. They have not seen each other but I think they are emailing because an unknown number sent a text saying "I've just emailed you" the other day (I did snoop this time!)
Should I ignore it or delve deeper? I have asked him if they have had any contact over the last year & he says not. Gut feeling says yes.
If he has continued contact what then? He's not having an affair but is still being disloyal. Not sure what to do. 