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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Has anyone met up with someone from their past that they had a crush on?

25 replies

Allalone0 · 30/05/2011 23:46

Thats it really just wanna know if anyone has either by accident or by actively searching for that person they once had a crush on?

OP posts:

lazarusb · 31/05/2011 19:13

Yes, our paths crossed accidentally. While I like the 'memory' of what might have been, I am very happily married and so is he.
I have a friend who found an old crush on FB and they ended up having an affair. It's ripped 2 families apart.
So come on...'fess up!

lazarusb · 31/05/2011 19:19

Has this got anything to do with your neck btw?

Original poster

Allalone0 · 31/05/2011 21:12

Hahahaha I wish!!
Nope they are Totally unrelated, and the 'mark' was JUST that 'a mark', and nothing else.
I have just been wondering for a while about someone I was at school with, and have been wondering what 'may have been'.

By the way what does 'fess up' mean? :s

OP posts:

TheOriginalFAB · 31/05/2011 21:13

Yes, but it was more than a crush as we had gone out together. I saw him last year and he was still hot.

Hassled · 31/05/2011 21:14

fess up = confess.

Yes, I've met a few ex-crushes and really time hadn't done them any favours (or me, come to that). The crush wasn't there anymore, anyway - there's something about being a teenager that makes crushes seem so deep and meaningful and important.

TheOKWife · 31/05/2011 21:35

I met up with someone who had a crush on me at school.

We didn't see each other for years then met up and the chemistry between us was so strong that we couldn't keep our hands off each other and things happened that should't have (I was in a relationship). Last time I saw him was over five years ago and I refused to see him again because I didn't want to risk anything happening.

He has recently got back in contact. The old attraction is still there. I really would love to see him again but its asking for trouble (we are both in relationships).

He gets better with age.

Original poster

Allalone0 · 31/05/2011 22:55

The person I have been thinking about was initially at a different school to mine and only came to my school for a year at sixth form. So I only knew him for a year, sometimes I wonder if I would even recognise him if we ever crossed paths. (gosh I need to get a life!...lolll)

OP posts:

TheOKWife · 01/06/2011 09:57

Have you tried facebook etc?

usualsuspect · 01/06/2011 10:00

yes ,he was fat and bald such a disappointment

lazarusb · 01/06/2011 10:01

That's the trouble - I am definitely a woman in my late 30s and he still looks as utterly delicious as he ever did. Even DH told me that the man in question hadn't changed I was 'in a bad place' when I knew him and, although we became close, I avoided anything significant happening with him because he was so nice...I was in a mess and would have ruined his life (although I'm sure the sex would have been AMAZING! )
Still, I am very happy with my wonderful DH. However, you are single aren't you OP so maybe you should see if you can find him....?

QueenofWhatever · 01/06/2011 10:34

Yes, got in touch via a mutual friend on facebook earlier this year after a nearly twenty year gap. Seeing him next month after several months of frantic facebooking. On paper it's all wrong, but oh the attraction is still there. He phoned me on Monday and said I still sounded exactly the same, I'd actually forgotten what a geezer he was.

deepheat · 01/06/2011 15:01

Um. I'm a 30-something year old bloke. That means that I was once a teenage bloke. That means that I had a crush on pretty much every girl I knew back then. And quite a few I didn't. And I meet quite a few of them regularly. Fortunately, DW knows most of them as well.

The point about a crush is surely that it is a fleeting thing? Would have thought that if an old flame causes problems in an existing relationship then it says more about the relationship than it does about the old friend?

greencolorpack · 01/06/2011 15:06

I fancied a boy for years, from age about 14 to 17, then when I was twenty I was out at a New Year party and came across him. Everyone was drunk and I got a kiss from him and "Happy new year". It was good. I was whelmed. I wasn't overwhelmed. My teenage self would have been soooooo jealous. But when I was twenty I just kind of shrugged.

PigletJohn · 01/06/2011 15:09

yes, sometimes it reminds you why you were together, and sometimes it reminds you why you split up.

greencolorpack · 01/06/2011 15:10

My dh had crushes on girls from the nearby girls grammar school, they all had a field trip to France. Now two of them (yes, two!!!) are actresses on the telly, one in annoying girly girly adverts, the other one in comedy shows, and my dh keeps endlessly banging on about "I knew her at school! I fancied her on the field trip!!!!"

Very tedious. At least when I was at school I had the foresight to fancy boys who have since disappeared without a trace.

Original poster

Allalone0 · 01/06/2011 18:46

TheOk yep I have trawled through many a men with the same sounding name on FB, and theres quite a few of those. As I can't remember how he was spelling his name...:s, but not had any luck. Maybe it's just not meant to be. But its just the curiosity of 'how he is' and 'what he's upto'. And what would have happened if one of us had made a move on the other.

Laza i am still officially married (unfortunately) but will have been separated from exh for 2years in July, although he seems to think its longer than that.

I thought the 'guy in question' was abit of allright back then, but as he is prob in his mid 30's he may well be 'fat and bald' by now :o (Not having had any sex with anyone for 9 months now, even 'fat and bald' may become 'desirable').

Queenof Good luck.....

OP posts:

AngryFeet · 01/06/2011 18:48

Yes I have bumped into several old crushes. Never found that I still fancied them though....

usualsuspect · 01/06/2011 18:58

Theres nothing wrong with fat and bald ,its just my crush was skinny and had really long hair back in the day

lazarusb · 01/06/2011 19:24

So you are single all but officially then OP
My Dh knows all about my crush. He isn't in the least bit worried - I adore him and I'm not quite ready for mid life crisis type drama yet.

but it would be better if he wasn't mid 30s now and even better than he was 18-20 years ago I'm sure he doesn't entertain any reciprocal 'longings' either.. Swine!

Original poster

Allalone0 · 01/06/2011 19:29

I like to refer to myself as 'free and single' although exh seems to think I have been written over to him until the day I die.

OP posts:

lazarusb · 01/06/2011 19:54

Yeah well ... fuck him OP (not literally ). Forget he exists and start moving on with your life.

Original poster

Allalone0 · 01/06/2011 20:10

Ewww...the thought of 'fucking him' makes me wanna throw up...:o

I wish I could 'forget him', I wish I could one day just wake up and realise that he was just a 'very, very bad nightmare' (except for our 3 dcs)

Having him living just up the road from me, at MY mums doesnt help. She's hoping that I may one day realise how difficult life is as a lone woman and take him back.

I was doing fine last year, was doing some short courses and meeting new people, relying on people other than my family for support to keep strong and not 'give in'. But then I stepped back abit and just trying to get 'back on track' now. Hence the search for Mr 'what could have been' (not really I have just been 'wondering' about him and not expecting anything, although it can get 'VERY' Lonely at times :( )

OP posts:

lazarusb · 02/06/2011 14:32

I'm shocked at your Mum letting him live there! My Nan once told me she was sad that my ex was alone after he'd spent 6 years being violent. I was incredulous.
Believe me, one day you will be able to not think about his reaction to your decisions, thoughts, actions etc...However hard it can be to be a lone parent, it's still better than being in a miserable relationship. Stay strong - there is light at the end of the tunnel

Stangirl · 03/06/2011 08:04

Drunkenly googled an ex crush (well he had more of a crush than me) from college days when in my mid-30s. I emailed. We met up - having not seen each other for 12 years. Instant attraction and nonstop sex. Have now been together for 7 years and have one DC with another on way.

Original poster

Allalone0 · 05/06/2011 13:16

Thats a lovely story STANGIRL :)

OP posts:

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