holidays with ex and family

[footynutter]

My DP has gone away for two weeks with his ex wife and daughter and son. I know its not so they can get back together again but im hurting and mainly hurting cause she still doesn't know about us and he hasn't toook his phone so she can't check it. Am i over reacting? he sent me flowers the day he went saying he loved me and he would be back soon this was just a holiday as a 'family' for the kids' - maybe i am being a bit silly.

Why hasn't he taken his phone? Why would she check it? Even if she did check it, what harm could it do? Without his phone, how would anyone contact him in an emergency?

Sounds a bit odd to me, how long have you been with him?

I'd be upset if a partner went on holidays and hadn't taken their phone. Maybe there's nothing to it, but it's a bit off that she doesn't know about you.

Doesn't mean they're together, but does mean he's considering her feelings before yours, which isn't very fair.

I know there will be many on here who wouldn't like it but from the other side I can tell you I am the ex wife and me and ex H regularly go away on holiday and weekends etc with dc. There is NO question of us ever getting back together but the kids love it and holidays were the only time we ever really got on so we feel it is all very positive. I think, though that it does depend on how long you and he have been together as it could probably feel quite undermining and inappropriate if you are in a committed relationship.

We have only been together a 4 months they have been seperated for a year and a half. She has threatened that if he is seeing me (she thought we were having an affair years ago when we use to work together) she will stop him seeing his kids, so probably easier to not take phone to cause a potential argument on holiday i suppose. What does un nerve me is that i asked about sleeping arrangements and he siad it hadn't been discussed. they are all sharing a room. I do know they would never get back together but maybe i just think too much. I want him to have family time but i just miss him.

You are not being silly. What is the point of playing "happy families" for the kids when they know their mum and dad are not together. Just does not sit right with me.
I know you have not been together long. When was this holiday booked? His ex wife cannot stop him seeing his kids if she found out about you-that is an empty threat. The sleeping arrangements have not been thought about don't believe that for one second. How do you know they would never get back together, who told you that??? Why not take his phone ? He could easily have a password on it to keep messages and calls private.
There are many dodgy things to be sorted here and a bunch of flowers just does not cut it for me...

I do get the happy families thing. If it helps the children. Me and my ex have days out etc. I just don't thing he wants her to find out about us yet as i said she did suspect we were having an affair years ago. Not taking the phone doesn't cause any friction i suppose - who you texting etc. They had the chance to get back together at christmas - his daughter was serious ill and he stayed at ex's house to help look after her. They didn't get back together and he says this is not what the holiday is about. I have to trust him, but I also have to after this holiday put my foot down and say no more i think.

Were you having an affair years ago?