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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Exh questioning me about a red mark on my neck....

16 replies

Allalone0 · 30/05/2011 12:49

Have been separated frtom ex for almost 2 years now....

A couple of days ago i wore a necklace which has left a red mark at the base part of my neck, just where the bone is. Exh saw it, when he came to see the kids and was questioning me abt what it was. I said 'nothing', at which point he just kept asking and asking, I didn't reply for a few times. At which he became abit more annoyyed.

I was going to tell him, what it was i.e. the necklace rubbing against my skin, but then thought, 'why should I?' As in the past if I have ever questioned him about anything he has just told me it's none of my business. As if i don't want to live with him anymore then its none of my business what he gets upto.

Should I have just told him??

OP posts:
colditz · 30/05/2011 12:50

No. It's none of his business.

StellaSays · 30/05/2011 12:52

Dickhead, presumably he is implying that you have been with someone else and he has a right to know about it.

Tbh I can see my mates doing this as people get really interested when you are seen to have been cagey. It's still annoying though.

Tortoiseonthehalfshell · 30/05/2011 12:52

Almost 2 years and he wants you to answer a question that's none of his business? Blimey, did you leave him because he was controlling, by any chance?

does he see the kids at yours, for you to be having such a long conversation? What I'm getting at is, if he's an irritating twat who thinks your life is his business, maybe it's time to revisit the contact arrangements so you can keep out of it.

tribpot · 30/05/2011 12:53

Nope. Nothing to do with him.

CarGirl · 30/05/2011 12:53

absolutely not, it is none of his business what you do with whom, what you wear etc etc etc

fuckmepinkandcallmerosie · 30/05/2011 12:55

He's being a dick.

Tell him it's a hickey from Kenickie Grin

Allalone0 · 30/05/2011 12:57

That did cross my mind at the time, about what he 'THOUGHT' it COULD be, i.e. a Lovebite of some sort.
He did seem quite arrogant in the way he was 'Questioning' me about it. It isn't but if it was I don't feel its any of his business, but it feels like he thinks i'm still his property to which he has exclusive rights to. Even though we havent lived together for such a long time and not had sex in such a long time, that somehow im supposed to just 'go without' forever.
yet hes allowed to do whatever he wants....so unfair!!!

OP posts:
Allalone0 · 30/05/2011 13:00

FMP hahahaha that made me laugh, I wish I had the guts to say that to him.

But he has and is looking for an excuse to have a go at me, to rant and rave, and I have tried for so long not to give him an excuse to do so.

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Anniegetyourgun · 30/05/2011 13:58

It's not a question of what you're "supposed to", is it? You're an adult and you can make your own choices. I guess if you were running a den of vice from your living room, or having passionate sex on the sofa in front of the DCs, he'd have something to say as a responsible parent. But as long as it does not impact on them it is totally nothing to do with him. You're rightly miffed at his presumption, but when you calm down you can start to feel amused that it is probably driving him crazy that you have secrets, possibly a man on the go. He won't like that at all. Good!

Allalone0 · 30/05/2011 18:38

I am feeling rather amused now, he probarbly is feeling worried that I may be meeting up with someone (fat chance being a single mum of 3). Maybe I could find a guy, who gives me regular hickies, just so I can wind him up :)

OP posts:
TheOriginalFAB · 30/05/2011 18:53

No because that would be silly.

lazarusb · 30/05/2011 21:22

A few weeks after I split from my ex he told me I had 'been seen in town with someone else'. He then went on to tell me, in the most arrogant way possible, that if I had fucked someone else he would never take me back, but would do so if I could tell him I hadn't.
I laughed in his face and pointed out that I'd left because he was abusive and had told me that he wanted the summer off from our relationship so he could have sex with students Hmm

OP - it really is none of his business and I would make sure you tell him so. Be happy Smile

Allalone0 · 30/05/2011 22:04

Laza...'he wanted the summer off so he could sleep with students' OMG i can't believe it!! Yet he wants you to tell him you haven't been with anyone. :s

I didn't tell exh to mind his own business, I guess i was still trying to figure out what the hell was going on, with his repetition of the same question over and over again, before he eventually left in a huff.

OP posts:
FabbyChic · 30/05/2011 22:32

is it not possible he was concerned someone has hurt you?

lazarusb · 30/05/2011 22:35

Allalone0 -He was a complete %^&*%% I can't think of a word bad enough to call him Grin

Fabby - I think it was more to do with the fact that her ex still sees her as his possession.

Allalone0 · 30/05/2011 23:44

Yes fabby 'in a passionate moment' they may have :)

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