dealing with grandparents that just don't care

[longlegs83]

hiya all i'm new to this but driving myself mad and need advice. i have a 5 yr old, my family are all over him love him to bits. my partners since the day he was born they left it a month before seeing him, and since this i knew they were not bothered. they didnt see him for 3 years forgot his birthdays and at xmas would drop some presents off. then 2 years ago we tried to make more of an effort because it drove me mad that they travelled hours out there way to pick up a granddaughter my sons sister every weekend. but both work 5 min from my house and never bothered, so after making an effort to try and build relationships - doesnt matter we cant go to there house without phoning first to make sure it ok. i was in hospital for weeks, out of action for 2 months after surgery and all my family rallied round to help with him as much as they could not an offer for help. it got longer and longer between visits until we now hit 6 month mark, at xmas our house flooded we became homeless my son had pnemonia was very ill, and still no interest, they came for 10 min to drop a present off which i had to advise to get because they dont know what he into. my new year resolution was to stop it all dont try making an effort no more they dont deserve his time. but what really upset me they became a great aunt n uncle and made numerious comments about how proud they are - how can they feel so little for my son and does anyone have a problem like this how do you deal with it.

would you just cut all contact - because i wouldnt mind but my sons not naughty hes very clever and best of all his has a massive heart and so loving - it drives me mad that someone who should love and want to protect can treat him like crap, i know this may seem petty but maybe thats what i need someone to tell me that so i can let it go

thankyou x

Hey there, what you have to remember is this is not your fault, or your sons, it is theres that they want no part of his life.

All you can do is the best for him and that is to make the most of the grandparents he has, that is your family.

What does your partner think of how his family behaves towards your son?

For what it is worth my parents have not had any contact with my children for four years, no cards, no nothing. They have not seen their grandmother for 7 years she just does not care. You cannot force people to care.

I know it is sad because we expect people to behave in a certain way towards their grandchildren and when they don't we feel offended and really angry that they could treat little people the way they do, thing is they just don't think.

They are selfish and only interested in themselves.

Cut the contact and make up for it with cuddles and lots of love and hugs from the grandparents who do care.

Tell them they can forget the token present it means nothing so no point in bringing it.