How do you cope with your kids liking the OW?

[Barney4]

My husband of 11 years left me for another woman. Our two children visit him everyother weekend. And as she lives with him she is always there. When I speak with them on the phone to say goodnight my three year old tells me about his day and all the wonderful things he has done with his younger brother, Dad and the other woman.
I am at home feeling very alone having to hear about him having a wonderful time as a family. A family he can have as and when he wants as he recently demonstrated when he went on holiday without taking his children and he has another holiday booked again without his children. He can play at having no responsibilities and having fun with her when I can not even find the time to get my haircut.
How do other people cope with this situation as I am struggling.

I try and convince myself that I am bitter because it is still an immoral cloak and and dagger relationship. I try and convince myself I would be more accepting if they were above board but I doubt it. OWDH is a friend of mine too which makes it a whole lot worse.

I am under a lot of pressure from friends and child welfare 'experts' to tell my Dd's the truth as to why he has left (they are 10), both for their benefit and mine (as they will probably refuse to see ow and her dcs if they knew all this is xp and ow fault) I just can't bear to bring it up and cause renewed distress.

Still it is early days for me. Xp has o.ly been gone for a could of months.

OP - FWIW, my brother (he was 8) and I were very aware of how and why the relationship between our parents had broken down. My Mum and my Dad's ex best friend chose to get married just 6 months after my parents divorced. My brother and I told her we didn't want to go and I have never regretted that decision.
I split with my eldest ds's dad when he was 5 and there has been a lot of poison in that relationship which is ongoing 16 years later (!) My ds has had to deal with a lot of things that he shouldn't have and I hate that he has been put through that - I accept that I didn't always say nice things about his dad and his wife (they got together a year after we split up) but if we could have built a halfway amicable and civilised relationship it would have been so much better for my ds.