DP told ex he still loves her

[Squishylicious]

I came home from work last week and DP was on the phone. Usually trust him 100% and didn't hear much of the conversation, but for some reason alarm bells rang. I checked his facebook the next day and he's been talking to his ex, told her he misses her, loves her, would be back with her tomorrow. I haven't done anything about it yet. Not sure what I should do as I honestly believed that we were happy together. Every time that I go to mention it I loose the bottle to do so. My head is in a bit of a mess about it and I just want to burst into tears all of the time. I have always known his fb password but never felt the need to check it before but had a gut feeling. I know they don't actually see each other (due to distance) and it was obvious that this was the first conversation (not that it makes it any better). I'm just very confused at the moment. Also feel like an idiot for not doing anything about it.

no minty, you haven't

just re-emphasising my general point

Thank you all for the advice, I really appreciate it. I didn't want to speak to anyone that I knew in RL about it so it has been great to get it off my chest and get opinions on how to handle the situation. I will have to work up the courage to talk to him about it. Yes it is making me incredibly unhappy and feel very betrayed, but reading what you have all said has made me feel a lot less like this is my fault.

it really, really isn't your fault love x

Working up the courage is a process. But bear in mind that the way he has chosen to deal with any issues he may have is extremely foolish - toddler-stylee really. He is also being extremely cruel - lying in fact.

Something I read on here, on another thread, comes to mind - he's stealing your right to make sense of your own life narrrative. No wonder you are feeling so unhappy, and crying. That is real pain. It is an unjustifiable thing to inflict on your partner.

Also, I have really rifled through the cupboard of my head on this one, and I still think he is deluded in fantasising about his ex. Bear in mind that that is quite deslusional behaviour and take real strength from it.

It isn't your fault in any way and he should be told the pain you are feeling as a direct result of his actions.
You don't deserve this crap. He needs to take off the rose coloured glasses and wake up to what he has to lose.
Quite why his ex is encouraging this is another issue (and she is by discussing it with him).

New to MN and right now am very glad I discovered it as I have just been going mad in my own head! This has been the biggest help. Am going to try and get some sleep for now as I am exhausted but thank you all again.

get some rest and a clear head tomorrow x

AnyFucker - I take back my calling you a nutter in another thread. Your advice here actually makes some sense.

Just want to say that I agree with (most of) the others - this is not you fault and you need to deal with it head on - do not pussy foot around trying to be the perfect little woman at home - you need to call him on it. PerfectStorm's post is well worth reading again - and acting on!

AF always makes a lot of sense & she's no nutter :)

bbird...you are entitled to your opinion

like I was entitled to tell you to get stuffed

" some sense" ?

don't damn me with faint praise now !

thanks chips

I think everyone on this thread, even if their approach differs somewhat, feels bad for the OP and realises she is a lovely person who doesn't deserve this

Definitely AF, squishylicious, honestly none of this is your fault. Nothing you have done as caused this. Your 'D'P made his own choice to act like such a twat.

How're you doing today?