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Relationships

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Original poster

SIL, FB and £££££

39 replies

paradoxical · 28/05/2011 21:43

I have know SiL for 20 years. Found they got engaged at Valentines - thru a post on fb. Also found out date of wedding and that her HtoBe's sister will be a bridesmaid on FB. She has been with her partner for 2 years. She has just DH asked to 'borrow' £10k for wedding (it is my money and she knows this). I have said we need to think about this when I wanted to shout 'ask your bridemaids'. I appreciate we were not as close as I had always thought and am happy to proceed on that basis with no hard feelings. I also do wish her the best and hope she has a lovely day - I don't want to pay for it though. Very entitled princess but I didn't want to be a bitch by saying so. Am I being precious for feeling so hurt?

OP posts:

garlicbutter · 28/05/2011 22:57

Say No to the loan. If you like (and for the sake of a peaceful life, maybe) offer to pay for some element of the wedding as your gift, not a borrow.

In your shoes, I'd be well pissed off about being asked to fund the wedding without being offered a role in it! But I'd let that go, because I wouldn't be lending any money.

I wouldn't worry about Facebook. Assuming shes 20-something, it's a fairly normal method of arranging things.

ThereAreNoMoreBiscuits · 29/05/2011 00:19

Fuck me. What a cheeky bitch. No frigging way should you lend her that money!

FabbyChic · 29/05/2011 00:22

Never lend family money. Ever. Specifically family you are not that close to.

Besides getting married can cost as little as £100, it is the act itself not how it is done.

You aren't a fucking bank.

FabbyChic · 29/05/2011 00:23

Hey you are in no way a bitch, do not lend that money out, you need it yourselves what if you don't get another job?

This is not a life saving operation it;s a wedding.

If you were paying for a life saving operation I'd say lend it with legal documentation signed too, but a wedding? No fucking way.

blackeyedsusan · 29/05/2011 00:25

DO NOT LEND HER ANY MONEY!!!

she can't be trusted to repay. if she want's an expensive wedding, she should save up for it. you need that money to live on and jobsearch...

MumblingRagDoll · 29/05/2011 01:02

No way shold yu lend the cash! It's not your job to fund her wedding!

Bu about being a bridesmaid...no...married women are not bridesmaids!

FriedSpamButty · 29/05/2011 01:18

I wouldn't lend anyone £10K to spend on a wedding. I wouldn't even spend that much money on my wedding! Three week Med cruise included!

If your SIL wants an expensive wedding she/they should pay for it and not ask for donations.

Just say no and give them a £20 Argos voucher

iscream · 29/05/2011 10:08

Yanbu, but she is.

Just...say...no.

Anniegetyourgun · 29/05/2011 10:12

Ten

thousand

quid?

Planet what?

HattiFattner · 29/05/2011 10:22

just say no - if you have been made redundant, thats your money to tide you over until you get another job - not her glitsy wedding fund.

And never lend to family - it will only ever end in tears (speaks with voice of experience)

Inertia · 30/05/2011 00:15

No, don't lend her the money. You have just been made redundant therefore you need it to cover your own expenses, and you don't want to have to pester for money to be repaid.

If she can't pay for the wedding, then she can wait and save up (frankly the barefaced cheek of the woman is astounding!)

The bridesmaid business is a side issue. TBH you're probably best off out of it; if she wants you to pay for the wedding I expect she'll make all sorts of ludicrous demands of bridesmaids.

RudeEnglishLady · 30/05/2011 08:30

What a cheeky woman! Hope you've told your DH that the answer he will give her is 'no'.

Don't fuss about the bridesmaid thing - do you really want to spend a day dressed up in peach shiney curtain fabric? Come on... you know you don't :)

Pancakeflipper · 30/05/2011 08:38

I am not sure why you think she should ask the bridesmaids for the £1000. I have been bridesmaid many times and not given the bride a huge chunk of money to pay for it.

You don't lend her it.

You are redundant. She is a grown up and needs to budget the wedding accordingly.
Offer her an amount of money you and DP feel happy about as a wedding gift. If you wish.

What does DP say?

Oh and delete her or whatever it is FB people do to ignore someone. She's only going to wind you up on the lead up to this wedding.

caramelwaffle · 30/05/2011 09:21

Can you trust your husband to not give her the money without your knowledge - then presenting it as a fait accompli?

Is the money in a bank account only in your name?

Is she always this greedy bolshy?

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