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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Broken dreams and promises.

8 replies

toptramp · 27/05/2011 21:27

I am getting over my ex and I am now in a happier, less heartbroken place but am still dwelling occasionally.

I was thinking today that one of the things that I found so upsetting about the breakup is that he was making plans. Plans to go on holiday, plans to live together, plans to be a family and when he threw in the towel so easily I felt decieved and cheated; like i'd been lied to. Anyone else feel like this about a broken relationship. I just hate starting to build dreams only to find they were just that; dreams.

OP posts:

Original poster

toptramp · 27/05/2011 21:27

I'm thinking the dreams and promises are part of the reel em in technique!

OP posts:

FabbyChic · 27/05/2011 21:46

I totally understand, it's like but, but what about our plans, it seems that sometimes people can just say things on a whim, then forget about them so quickly, and it makes you think they never cared to start with.

Original poster

toptramp · 27/05/2011 21:58

Yes. It makes me question if he meant it when he said he loved me or not.

OP posts:

FabbyChic · 27/05/2011 22:13

Did he split with you? What was his reason?

DioneTheDiabolist · 27/05/2011 22:17

You are starting to build dreams. We all do that. Then we choose which ones to make a reality. You can dream and make your dreams come true as long as you work towards them.

And with no one else to scupper them, toptramp you are on your way.

superconfusedmum · 27/05/2011 22:24

well 18m ago my hubby and I of 26yrs went throu a really sticky patch, to the point where i nearly walked on him, We then had our son move home from a failed uni course with all the stresses that that entailed. Needless to say we didn't get to resolve our own problems. Tried relate but he didn't like paying the £40 per session. We have stumbled along and that combined with other life stresses we seemed to be inching literally towards recovery and then last night I find he is up to his old tricks and trust that was paper thin is now no more!!! What on earth do i do now????

AnyFucker · 28/05/2011 12:03

SCM, love, I think you need to start your own thread

posting snippets on others won't get you the focussed advice you are so clearly asking for

Wisedupwoman · 28/05/2011 19:33

Yes, toptramp sadly lots of us are asking what happened to the plans we made with our errant DP's.

You don't say how long you were together, but maybe he got cold feet and couldn't go the extra bit to fully committing himself. That's about him, not you. It's harsh for you but IMHO better before you have a mortgage etc to disentangle yourself from - all that just makes it more painful.

Make the most of the times you don't dwell and remember the qualities you have that another DP will positively fight to keep you for. Stay strong.

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