ds other grandma suddenly wants to know him

[jenk1]

after nearly 3 years of no contact, ds father decided 3 years ago that he didnt want anything to do with ds.

I went to see his mother to ask her if she still wanted contact and she said "i,d rather go through xxx to see ds" so i said "fine but you do know that xxx doesnt want to see ds anymore dont you?" she said she didnt want to discuss it with me so i left it at that.

So, 3 years later and today i get a phone call,asking me how is ds and moaning cos she hasnt seen him for a long time she lives just up the road from me and hasnt ONCE tried phoning or calling to see him.

She said- "its ds birthday soon would you like to bring him up to see me or shall i post his cards?" i told her to post them because im not having ds treated like a toy that only needs seeing every now and again, he is very happy and secure with me and DH and never mentions his biological father-in fact when he stopped coming to see ds, ds was depressed for a while but he is ok and i want it to stay like that.

Thing is i feel really guilty, i know its not our fault but i feel sorry for his other grandma, someone tell me that i did the right thing and am being silly please

you did the right thing .

If she really wants to be part of his life, she can surely make more effort than that.

Like you say, it's not fair to your ds unless she's prepared to commit being a proper granny to him.

thanks carolina

I think that you need to try and be really grown up here. You of course are right and if she only wants to see him at b'days that no good for him. However I think for your ds's sake it's worth seeing if she is seriously interested in being a granny to him.
No matter how well your dh fathers him his mum is never going to be his real granny. Why not give her a call and outline what would be suitable to you. If she is antagonistic then you can just forget about it and leave well enough alone. Good luck, I feel for you, it's a tough one.

thing is carmenere, ive done all this before, its ME who has had to do all the chasing,arranging appointments for her to see ds and repeatedly asking her did she want to see him.

The last time i took ds to see her, he asked about his dad and she refused to answer questions,just said that he was very busy and thats why he didnt see him anymore, i told her twice to call me and arrange more visits and she didnt not once and now after 3 years after nothing im not going to chase after her anymore.