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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is this right?

2 replies

acja · 24/05/2011 15:54

Ive been with my dh for nearly 14 years and married for just over 10, we have 2 dc's and i just dont know if i still love him. We have both cheated in the past, but got through it as we both really wanted to stay together and put it down to the fact that we have been together since we were 15 and hadnt ever experienced anyone else. Nothing like this has happened for about 7 years though and i thought we were happy. We have a nice home, good jobs, nices cars all the material stuff but im just not happy. He annoys me all the time with everything, nothing he is asked gets done and the most simple of tasks can turn into a massive ordeal. He just has no drive in him, even talking about something upsetting, like our daughter being bullied at school, is just like talking to a plank of wood, he shows no emotion. He is not very romantic and his idea of seduction is grabbing my hand and putting it on his crotch. I am romantic and do lots of nice things for him, but i think i only do it now to make myself feel better about how little i feel for him. We argue quite a lot and the other night i packed a suitcase for him and wanted him to go and he started crying and so i gave in, but i wish i hadnt. I really dont want to feel like this i want to love him like i always have done, but i know deep down i dont and its heartbreaking. I just dont know what to do, is this just a product of being together such a long time or is something wrong? i just dont know where this has come from? :( I dont know what im expecting really from replies, i just needed to write it down.

OP posts:
Renaissance227 · 24/05/2011 15:59

I think it sounds like you have just grown apart. You got together very young. It's not necessarily something that just happens after being together for such a long time.
I think you need to be strong and tell him you need a break to give you a chance to work out how you feel about things.
I know it's very hard but you need to be strong and put yourself first before you look back at year after year of your life and regret that you didn't give yourself a chance to be happy. BE STRONG

oldwomaninashoe · 24/05/2011 16:06

I ,too think you have grown apart. We all change radically between our mid teens and mid twenties and beyond.
You sound like you do need a break from each other.

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