husband's emotions baggage/problems

[Rorogeorge]

My husband has lots of 'issues from his past' which occasionally come to light, this weekend was one of those times. We had a bit of a row on sat eve, which I was very upset about as we have not had a row in ages- ( 4 months at least) and he has been quite cheerful- he suffers with depression during the winter more. Anyway, I wanted him to apologise for being sexist and patronising about my PMT in front of the DC. He wouldn't and lost his temper and smasjed something. He has issues with his mother 'villianising' his father when he was young, and thinks in some twisted way that is what I am doing. (I think he is too scared to have it out with her, so is somehow putting me in her place)

After an immense discussion, I managed to persuade him I don't think he is a villian, but he must control his anger and take some resonsibility. He has many, many good points and that I am not trying to villianise him, but want harmony and love in our lives. He needs to see a counsellor, how can I possibly get him to go when he just buries his head in the sand and occasionally he will completely overact over tiny things. I'm sorry this doesn't make much sense! Basically I want him to admit he has emotional issues and seek help, stop the self loathing and give himself some perspective. Ultimately I think he needs to accept he is to blame but that it doesn't mean he's horrible, just troubled.

Just wanted to ask advice again. Things are much improved in terms of DH- He has not been aggressive or angry for a couple of months at least, not since this last thread, but other things are worrying me.

We have had a bust up with his parents- his mother was vile to me and he told her she wasn't welcome until she apologised. She hasn't and I feel rather guilty albeit pleased he was loyal. I realise now how much he had to put up with while growing up. Anyway, I am worried he is becoming depressed again as he seems tired all the time and quite vacant. He is not interested in being out in the garden, whereas normally this time of year I can't get him to come inside. I know it seems silly, but I have a bad feeling about this. He tells me all is fine but I know he is struggling and he knows I know it. I want to send him down to the GP but don't know how to make him go. Apart from this, our relationship and family life is good.

maybe go see someone to talk things thru for you.
or make lists of what is good and what isnt,.

because you seem confused - everything is good - but you are worried he is depressed.

so is it good or isnt it?
are you really happy with your lot?
where do you see yourself in five years time?

you cant make him go to gp but you could make an appt and march him there to tak to gp go thru depression questionnaire.

or you could just ignore and carry on - til he either gets worse - and hits out - or gets better.

i remember being in a place where everything i persuaded my self was mostly good for me but nowexP was kinda depressed and it was just how he was and i ignored it mostly. thought was best for dc to stay together bla bla bla.... couple years later he really exploded. and there had been signs all along like you - smashing things etc. and bad relationship with his parents.

up to you - ignore and carry on

or do something.

go talk to someone in real life