Having just spoken to my SIL on the phone and feeling a bit 'used & abused' by her and my BIL, I?m feeling a bit low right now. It doesn?t help that I've had several experiences in the last few days which make me feel that most people basically don?t give a cr*p about anyone but themselves & I?m starting to wish that I was a bit more that way myself.
I get on pretty well with BIL most of the time, except that he is very opinionated and likes things to go his own way. His mother and his MIL both live out of town so they call on us sometimes when they need someone to help out with the kids. (On the other hand, they don?t help out with our son, as my mum & dad live nearby). DH & I may not hear from my BIL for weeks, and then suddenly he will try to call me at home because he wants something. Sometimes if I?m not here, he has rung up to six or seven times in a row but refuses to leave a message on our machine (because he ?doesn?t like leaving messages?), and then when he finally reaches me, he says things like ?WHERE have you BEEN?? You?re never home, I?ve been trying to get you?, etc etc. Last time it happened, I told him to leave a message because how else am I supposed to know that someone is chasing me?? About 99% of the time, he?s only trying to call me because he wants us to mind one of the children or help them out in some way. It makes me so angry. My SIL is usually better than that, we get on pretty well but a couple of weeks ago she rang me and left a message for me to call her, so I called her back the same afternoon and left a message on her machine. Nothing. She didn?t call back for a week, then I tried to ring her again and left another message. Nothing again. Another week later, I rang her again (thinking that she may not have gotten my message) and she said ?Oh, I only rang you to see if you could help us out with the kids in December, but we?ve figured something else out now.? And she couldn?t have returned my phone call to let me know?? To make it worse, BIL has a sarcastic sense of humour and can be very friendly when he wants to, but also takes the mickey out of us when he wants to as well? I really just don?t find it funny. Basically I keep in contact with them because it?s DH?s brother, and because I get on well with SIL most of the time. I?m also disappointed with a couple of friends of mine right now who are only in touch when it suits them, I really get tired of this attitude & find it hurtful. The other day I went shopping with a friend, I really didn?t feel like going but I said ?Yes? to her because she?d asked me to do something with her the week before and I couldn?t go, so I didn?t want to let her down two times in a row. I?m actually wondering whether it?s worth trying to consider other people?s feelings, when so often it just doesn?t get returned. Thanks for listening - it helps to vent but what I?d really like to do is care less about the things people do and the way they are.