Can't think of a reason to stay

[leeds80]

I have not been truly happy with my relationship with dh fo a while. He has never got on well with my family. in particular my mum. However, ironically I would not consider ending relationship as divorce is still quite taboo in her eyes. Mum passed away in Feb and I do not feel dh understands what I am going through. A few time he found me in tears and asked me had I watched something sad? He has a temper at times. This is quite upsetting for dc. I also don't feel valued in our relationship. Does not feel like a partnership. As a SAHP I feel like he is critical when I want to spend money on myself. Although he doesn't stop me. He is quick to buy things for himself and dc but I feel neglected.
Any advice appreciated.

Do you want out or do you want change?

If you want to go - go.

If you want to stay with him but you want him to stop those things that make you unhappy, then tell him how you feel. Tell him your unhappiness and at least see if there is a chance for change. If he can't / won't, then at least you tried.

Sorry to hear about the loss of your mum, it sounds like you were very close to her.
I think it is hard for partners to know what to do or say to support after bereavement sometimes. Have you tried telling him what you need? Tell him you are upset about losing your mum and you need a cuddle!
When you say he has a temper what do you mean exactly?
You dont sound happy in your marriage. Can you pinpoint the things you would like to change? Is he open to discussion?

Well I think its quite a common problem for SAHP, it is although rewarding in some aspects, also quite mundain I don't think the men really appreciate this, just think we're sitting at home watching Jeremy Kyle with our feet up!

Think you need to have some time together, to discuss your emotions and how you feel. I know what it feels like to loose your mum and used to cry at odd moments my oh never really knew what to do but it wasn't because he didn't care, it maybe he just doesn't know how to handle it. Big hugs to you x

Thank you for your replies. He is not physically violent but shouts at dc alot. Very road ragey in the car/ swearing etc. Just not sure if I love him anymore. However, also feeling trapped due to financial situation. Realise we need to do some serious talking.

Shouty behaviour can be intimidating. He sounds angry. Any idea why?

It sounds like you are weighing it all up just now so see what he has to say and take it from there. Good luck.

I feel for you, my oh can be shouty as well. I understand it is hard to ask for cuddles for fear of rejection, but try.

Would it be possible for you to get a part-time job or do something to get you out of the house or to give you an interest?
I know how distressing it is to lose a parent and I feel deeply sorry for you. I did find ,however getting out of the house and working helped me greatly when I was in your position, it stopped me dwelling on things, and this ultimately improved my relationship with DH.
I was probably more cheerful, and nicer to be with , also I had my own bit of money to spend as I wished.