I want 4, he doesn't. Any tips?

[3catstoo]

Hi,
I am looking for any tips on convincing my hubby that we should have a 4th baby.
Feeling obsessed at the moment.
It's a bit awkward because he wanted a 3rd but I didn't. He took 18 months to convince me. Now I'm feeling more brudy than ever and just won't even consider it. What can I do? I have a 6 yr old boy, 4 yr old girl and 18 mth old girl (sorry I haven't sussed the abbreviations yet!)

What are his reasons against?

I was in your postition once and just kept nagging and going on about it until dh agreed. Sorry, not much help, but if you truly want one and he loves you very much, surely he will give in in time? Of course, money is an issue - it is very expensive having a fourth, espeically as you are almost bound to need a larger car. Is time an issue with you? I was in my late 30s when I conceived my fourth and I did feel time was running out for me. If time isn't an issue for you, you could wait a year and then start nagging!

When you find the answer, 3cats, let me know coz my DH won't let me have number 4 either -grrrrrrrr!!!

the answer is to have twins the third time. That's wht I did.

How did he convince you to have the third? Aren't those reasons still relevant?

Hi, Yes I figured that if I pestered him enough he would give in. I'll keep on at him. Watch this space.
As for his reasons none of them are valid as far as I'm concerned. He says we are both getting older. Well as I've just turned 31 I don't think age is an issue. He is only 36. He says he would be concerned about my health as a vegetarian and about the health of the baby. My health has never suffered during pregnancy, other than having to take iron supps, which most of my non veggie friends had to take too!
We bought a bigger car to fit 3 in so we have room for 1 more. I'm not asking for a bigger house as I'm happy for them to share rooms and so are they at the moment. We have most things we need for another and a close circle of friends willing to lend things out.
Having no family close by is a bit of an issue but I've coped before.

It's good to talk to others in the same situation, thanks.

It seems a bit as if he is making excuses really. None of the reasons do seem particurlary valid. My dp didn't want four because although three seems a normal amount, four is rather more unusual and a bit of a handful. But I got my way in the end, and it has worked out ok. Good luck!

Oh well, if you have the car, nothing is stopping you!

Seriously, I suppose the way I persuaded my dh was that I told him it was my dream to have 4 children and I didn't want to get to the end of my life and look back and think "I wanted 4 and could so easily have had 4 but I just didn't go for it when I could." Some of our dreams and wishes can't ever be achieved but this was one that could be.

I'm glad it worked out for you ladies.
He does seem to be making excuses, you're right.
I was quite happy with 2 until he nagged and nagged about having 3. I don't know what made me give in. I had a moment of madness and after the first attempt I was pregnant so there was no going back. It was only after that he told me he had always wanted 3.
Now I feel like I need to even the numbers a bit. Sounds silly I know, but 4 seems better than 3. It's not that I'm not happy with what I've got.
I have been planning in advance and trying to discover when I ovulate just in case he gives in. I'm using an Ovutel saliva kit. So far I haven't ovulated this month and i'm now on day 25. This is bizarre after trying only once for my other 3. Not that I'm actively trying of course, just forward planning.
How long did it take you both to persuade your guys?

how do those ovutel saliva kits work? are they expensive..just curious

Mine was £15, I bought it online from accessdiagnostics. You can get more expensive ones but I think they are all pretty similar.
You put a small amount of saliva onto the glass of the small microscope. Let it dry and then look through the lens. There are 3 types of pattern that can form. It is based on there being more salt produced when you ov.

I did create another thread about this to see if anyone else had had any luck with them, in the conception bit.
Hope that helps.

my bf didn't get a choice in the matter in the end, as I fell for twins. I know how you feel about wanting four rather than three though. When he kept saying he only wanted three, I thought well I would rather stick with two than go for a third and then stop. I think I was worried about one getting left out. With four they seem to pair off, but we will see as they grow up.

Yes that's what I think, they will have a pal rather than one being left out. DH thinks the opposite, that they might not get on and then there are 2 left out. Always the optomist! At least there are more possibilities of companionship with 4. I speak as an only child that had 6 imaginary friends!
I have a neighbour who took a rather devious route to get her 4th. She got her DH very drunk at exactly the right time, took advantage and bingo! That's not the story he will tell though!
I don't have it in me to do such a thing, not that my DH would give in even under the influence of alcohol.