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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Please tell me it gets better

1 reply

Wilkoa · 20/05/2011 20:57

Hi
It's coming up to the anniversary of our break up. Was with H for 5 years before we got married, brought up SD since she was 2.5. As we planned, got married, got pregnant. He behaved in the most horrendous, emotionally distant manner for the last 5 months of my pregnancy. I decided to leave 1 week before DS was due. Once I started wishing I had never gotten pregnant, while standing at the top of the stairs thinking about falling down them I decided I had to leave. He didn't stop me, then dumped me on the phone 4 days before giving birth saying "I just fell out of love". 4 months of ruminating followed, thinking there was more to it. There was, he'd had an affair with a close friend of mine throughout my pregnancy and was now in a relationship with her. I had to find out for myself. He never told me the truth.

I chose to move to be closer to my parents, 60 miles from my home for the last 12 years, - lost my H, SD, job (5 years), house (spent 3 years rennovating) friends close by. Throughout the last year I have been ill countless times and suffered quite badly with panic attacks, anxiety, stomach cramps - you name it. I am not normally ever ill!!! Have sold house, got new job, got divorced...all the biggies I guess.

Trying to adjust to life as a single parent but FT work and lone parenting is taking its toll. Am exhausted and often ill. I don't seem to be able to shake the trauma and its devastating effects. Friends and family have been great, as is DS (although a handful too!) but still I feel so low sometimes. I want to feel normal and healthy again.

Is it just time that makes things better??? Any advice you have would be welcome.

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 20/05/2011 21:02

Yes, it does get better, and anniversaries, though hard, are good final steps to getting over things. You will have done the christmas and birthday ones now and this is the last hurdle.

You will feel normal again, you will meet someone who treats you properly, and you will fall in love again. Honest. :)

For the moment, concentrate on your health, that is the most important thing of all, because your son depends on you, take a vitamin supplement, make sure you get plenty of sleep if you can, and dont be afraid to ask your family and friends for help. :)

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