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Relationships

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Original poster

Am I being totally PFB?

20 replies

HollyBollyBooBoo · 20/05/2011 18:50

DD is 10 mo, SIL (DHs sister) has asked that DD goes and stays with her for a weekend. We barely have a relationship with SIL, I've met her 4 times in the 10 years I've been with DH, DH doesn't have an address or telephone number for her and has never been to her house (they live about 2 hours away). Funnily enough I said no, was a bit confused as to why DH would even have asked me (SIL asked him via their Mother), and he couldn't understand why I said no!

I probably am being PFB but DD took 2 years to conceive and I had the most hideous pregnancy and she's just the most precious thing on Earth to me, not sure why I'd send her to what is effectively a strangers house?

Thoughts pls.

OP posts:

newnamethistime · 20/05/2011 18:54

No way are you being pfb..... She is loopers.

woopsidaisy · 20/05/2011 18:54

YADN being PFB. There is absolutely no way on earth that I would send my baby away for a night to a virtual stranger! And IMO 2 hours is too far away. If it was a very close family member who had been around regularly and proved themselves then I would be ok,but this suggestion is quite simply weird.

newnamethistime · 20/05/2011 18:56

Would also wonder what on earth your dh was thinking when he asked, and would be very surprised that he couldn't understand why you said no.

Jemma1111 · 20/05/2011 18:57

As others have said, no way should you be letting some 'stranger' look after your baby

carlywurly · 20/05/2011 18:58

Nope, definitely not you who's the weird one here. How utterly barking!

Has she even met your DD? If not, and if you want to, it might be nice to invite her over for lunch or something, or meet at your IL's, but no way, no how would I send my dc off to a stranger.

IThinkTooMuch · 20/05/2011 18:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BendyBob · 20/05/2011 18:59

Good lord no yanbu! AS you say, you barely even know her.

Maybe though she's trying to establish a connection of some sort. Bit of an ott start, but maybe she'd like more of a relationship?

She might also be trying to help and give you a break. I totally understand why you're not keen at this stage and under these circs though.

Original poster

HollyBollyBooBoo · 20/05/2011 19:02

Thank goodness it's not me getting neurotic then. Think I made it v. clear to DH so hopefully that'll be the end of it!

OP posts:

Happygomummy · 20/05/2011 19:04

Muchos YANBU

Can you say you're still doing one BF a day (I have no care how much you are or not BF or FF just in case you think intermix to start a fight by stealth!!)

Would just mean avoiding any awkward excuses or saying no.

But you are 100% justified in your concern.

yousankmybattleship · 20/05/2011 19:04

YA Definitely NBU. She is bonkers.

Original poster

HollyBollyBooBoo · 20/05/2011 19:06

Yes SIL has met DD - 3 of the times I have met SIL are in the 10 months since DD came into the World. We last saw them in April for SILs wedding where DD was a 'bridesmaid' (she had a special outfit bought by SIL). I truly don't mind SIL getting involved in our/DDs lives but just one step at a time!

OP posts:

Eglu · 20/05/2011 19:12

YANBU. I am perplexed as to why your DH can't see the problem.

ginmakesitallok · 20/05/2011 19:17

why on earth would anyone want a 10 month old to stay for the weekend??? It's not as if they can go to the pub?

Original poster

HollyBollyBooBoo · 20/05/2011 19:21

Think, Eglu he's not really thinking things through, or maybe he's thinking of a weekend of peace and quiet, getting a lie-in etc! I didn't really ask him for what his rationale was just told him no, end of (how very mature of me!).

OP posts:

squeakytoy · 20/05/2011 21:22

Like I have said on plenty of other threads, what is it with people who want to "borrow" other peoples small babies.

I just do not get it at all.

Anniegetyourgun · 20/05/2011 21:33

Other people's babies are lovely (well some of them are!), but the very best thing about them is being able to hand them back when they start smelling or being tetchy.

Pussinflatboots · 21/05/2011 15:29

YANBU.
My ILs are desperate to babysit. DD is 13 weeks and everytime I see them it's 'can we have her for a day?'. She's not a frickin toy!!! She's gone there for a couple of hours this afternoon to shut them up, and I am really upset. Also livid at DH for not taking my side, and extra-livid at myself for just not saying 'no'.
Sorry for hijack!

ChippingIn · 21/05/2011 15:35

Babies are lovely - I can see why people want to have them to stay/look after them on their own and I think it's lovely for the person and for the baby for this to happen when they are someone the baby is comfortable with.... but someone the baby has 'met' 3 times in 10 months when you don't need a babysitter is barking. Maybe she can't get pregnant and really wants a baby to fuss over... but that's no reason to 'lend' her yours when yours doesn't even know her.

Playdohinthewashingmachine · 21/05/2011 15:59

Thats bizarre. A 10mo is just the right age to spend the entire weekend bawling for Mummy. Does she know any other babies? Does she have any idea?

Good grief. My PFB didn't go to stay with anyone for a weekend till she was 2, and that was with my very very good friend with 4 older children of her own who we'd spent masses of time with, been on on holiday with etc. My neglected-subsequent-children got left younger, but still only with people they knew really well, who I totally trusted (and I still gave them a page of instructions, but that's another matter).

Janni · 21/05/2011 16:02

Don't burn your bridges though. You've said you don't mind SIL being involved and, as time goes on and your daughter grows up you may be delighted to have a willing family member to babysit. I would invite her over to spend some time at your house with your daughter.

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