Bibi does the (final) splits

[BibiBlocksberg]

Hello :)

Some of you may know and remember me from my previous threads - this being the main one:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1078234-Its-all-about-him

Split up with partner back in December 2010 and have spoken to him twice but have heard noting from him since February.

I still have his car (which we both paid half for MOT, servicing and Tax in December last year as that's when all that is due)

Now, I have finally got myself organised and am about to buy my own car next week so will be ready to draw final lines under everything.

What I want to do is to contact him and say, you can have the car back now and please come and remove the last of your possessions from the loft and garden at the same time.

Before I even get into that conversation with him though, I need to decide what I'm willing to give him and what is unreasonable/unnessessary.

He wants me to pay him back half of the deposit on what used to be a jointly rented property ( I still live there)

Now, I don't know really, RL friends keep telling me he will just have to wait until I move as there's no point in giving him money that I myself may not get back from the landlady. Which makes sense but not sure if I should just offer him a percentage of the deposit back and have done with it.

Number two is the car - it's due to be taxed at the end of June which will be just over £120.00. Again, I'm dithering as to whether to re-tax it for him as he has been good in letting me keep it or whether to look at it that I've paid for what I've used and now it's his turn.

I want to be fair to him but to be perfectly honest, he cost me a shedload of money through his inconsiderate selfish ways almost every day we were together and the stroppier part of me thinks 'you're lucky you're getting the car back let alone anything else'

If anyone has made it this far - hats off to you and opinions would be very much appreciated :)

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1078234-Its-all-about-him

Damn it, I pressed the convert button and it still didn't work.

Hopefully this will though

Hello Bibi, I remember you, I've since name-changed :)
So exciting that you have finally reached a point where you can remove all remaining ties. I would personally (in your situation) give him half the deposit money but NOT tax his car. That seems fair - perhaps others will disagree. It's nice not to have a debt to him hanging over you, and presumably he hasn't trashed the place while he was living there in a way that would be reflected in a reduced deposit?
I would also gather together all of his stuff, bag it up and have it waiting - or even put it in the car. Don't have him rootling through what is now YOUR home if you can help it!
And good luck & well done. You've come so far :)

I remember you too and loved your threads

Did he pay his share of the rent before he left? And did he pay what he owed on the utility bills up to date too? If he didn't then I would consider his half of the bond as his share of the rent and bills and not pay it back. Actually, considering he cost you money while in the relationship I don't think you should pay it back even if he did pay his share of the bills up to date.

I wouldn't tax the car either, you've already paid for your share of what you have used so if you were to tax it now only he would benefit.

I would pack up the car with as many of his belongings as it will hold, drop it off outside his house and push the keys through with a note asking him to pick up the rest of his belongings. You don't owe this man anything and there is more to be gained from keeping things business like.

Thanks for your replies TimeIsFree and SingOut :)

I'm normally not a quibbler and would just give him what he wants but since there's only me looking out for me now I feel I want to do just that.

When I think of all the times he shirked his half of expenses or all of them. I was a total mug for a long time paying for the majoirty of weekly food, holidays even his teeth without so much as a thanks.

I suppose it's all academic now but he has a blardy irritating habit to re-write history. And in his verson he paid for everything, 97% of the time.

Might just follow the packing up the car with his belongings suggestion since my friend has already agreed to help me get it over to him.

Then wait and see what sort of demands he comes up with.

Plus, it just occured to me that the car tax isn't due til end of June so he'll have a full month left anyway.

Can't wait to be shot of the last of his bits

Well you are a mug no more!

I would avoid all contact with him if I were you, just ignore any demands he might have, if he wants money he will have to sue you!

Mmh, yes I was thinking that earlier TimeForMeIsFree re ignoring any demands.

It's not as if he's terribly pro-active about chasing anything come to think of it :)

I would say yes of course you'll pay half and now can he pay you in return for all the money he owes you? Have a list ready for him. I doubt you'll hear from him again.

"Have a list ready for him. I doubt you'll hear from him again"

Funny you should say that, I'd just started totting it up in my head.

I'd rather put the money towards my late summer vision of sitting with something cold and sparkly on an Ibizan Beach